Aftershock
by Elazures
Summary: Demons of the past don't disappear just like that, nor do people adapt quickly when change comes. Set right after Tsukasa's awakening, on how she made it through, got away from her father, and ended up with Subaru. Tsukasa x Subaru, set IRL. AN added
1. the Hopeful

A/N Well…here goes…hehe. Hi everyone…welcome to my first attempt at writing for .hack/SIGN. Anyway…I just thought I'd try to write a fic about just the first few steps Tsukasa takes in the real world. .hack/ZERO kinda just glosses over it and doesn't really describe just how Bear (Ryo Sakuma) got legal custody of Ann, or how the she and Subaru end up together. So I've tried to make a little ficcy about it.

Oh yeah, drop me a line and tell me if it's okay…pweease? 

Enjoy!

Chapter 1 – THE HOPEFUL

Misono Mariko

22.17 (day 1)

Shouji Ann never looked so peaceful as she slept there. Mariko found it enough to just look at her friend, taking it all in. After all the hullabaloo of meeting Ann and taking her in, dumping the girl's sparse belongings into the guest room, Mariko finally had the time to just look at her friend and memorize every feature.

_So this is what the real Tsukasa looks like_, she thought. Not quite what she'd expected –after all, Ann was years younger than Mariko in real life. Still a junior high school student, while she had a job to keep.

But that hadn't kept her from letting her friend in. After all, Tsukasa – Ann, she reminded herself – didn't have a place to stay just yet. It'd take Ryo a while to settle things in court. Mr. Shouji was not going to let go of his daughter so easily. After all, he'd depended on his little genius – encouraging her with beatings – to do most of his work as an employee of the CC Corp to do maintenance for one of their subsidiary companies. The last piece of news Mariko had heard of him was that he had been fired soon after Ryo's accusation in court and was planning to tell Ann that once she woke up. She thought with a sigh of relief that that part of Ann's life was over, and would never come back.

Finally she turned off the lights and went into her own room, ready for a peaceful sleep after long nights of worrying.

Shouji Ann

01.41 (day 2)

Shadows lengthen and form into an opaque form of her father. She huddles, whimpers, but dares not raise her voice or whine. Weakness would be another reason for more hits. Blows fall, heavier than rain, but just as constant. She feels the sharpness of his breath, smelling of beer and sourness, and is stung by his words which cut more than any whipping or beating. Worthless. Trash.

Born only to kill her mother, who never recovered after that difficult birth. Not even a boy. Not even useful…

A part of the shadow forms into a whip, and Ann's arms can barely protect her body from the lashes. She can't stop the screams, can't stop the tears, no matter how many times this has happened.

She woke up with a cold sweat, and was scared by the unfamiliarity of her surroundings. Gradually she remembered she was in Mariko's house – and as soon as she did, she forced her whimpers and tears to cease. This was Mariko's home. What kind of guest would she be if she caused her host so much worry?

But she still couldn't sleep. Still couldn't shake off the fear. Any moment now, she expected, her father would come crashing into the house, demanding for her. How could she refuse when that meant pain? He was still out there, still waiting for her. Those fears stayed till morning, repetitions of thoughts which kept her inside her shell, refusing to come out. Subaru…she couldn't bear the thought of making the woman worry about her so much.

A plan formed in her head. And she told herself that this was best, for her and for Subaru.

Misono Mariko

05.37

The morning started early. It was still dawn, and outside, the birds were starting to chirp. Mariko thought the day couldn't have started better. She got into her chair and went over to Ann's room, planning to wake her up.

However, she froze as she got to the door. There was a message taped on it, written carefully.

Misono-san,

Gomen nasai…

I am very, very sorry for causing you all this trouble. I don't want to burden you so much, so for now, I'll go to a friend's place and stay there until everything settles down. I'm really, really sorry, Misono-san. I hope you can forgive all the mess I've made, asking you to let me in and just leaving like this.

Shouji Ann

Misono-san. This was the first time Ann had ever called her that. Impartial, impersonal, as though she was trying to shy away from her. She flinched at the thought. What had gone wrong? How could Ann think she was a burden? She bit her lip. Looks like things weren't going to be so smooth, after all. She went inside the room. It was as bare as the day before Ann showed up.

She called up Ryo, telling him what happened.

"She just left like that?"

"Yes. I don't know where. To a friend, she said. Can you think of a way to find out who?"

"…She probably doesn't have any." Ryo said, hesitantly. He'd just finished checking her records in school. _Introvert_, her personal record indicated. Well, that was to be expected.

_So she was lying. _This was another first; other than being called just Misono-san, Tsukasa had, for the first time, lied. Mariko leaned back on her wheelchair and closed her eyes.

"Mariko?" It was Ryo's voice.

"Yes. I'll look around and see if anyone's seen her."

She doubted her own words. She'd left early morning, maybe still in the evening. Very few people would have taken notice of her. She could be anywhere, hitching a ride to the countryside or hiding away in some alley.

"Yeah. I'll contact the police."

The two hung up. _Tsukasa…what happened to our promise? _

She quickly showered and dressed then went down the street, asking anyone if they had seen an auburn-haired girl. No one had noticed anyone.

Shouji Ann

11.10

Meanwhile, Ann was making her way through Tokyo. Her steps were heavy as she thought of Mariko. But she firmly told herself that it had to be this way; she didn't dare risk bringing down her father's wrath on her friends.

But where was she to go? There was a little money in her pocket, sent by Bear when he first contacted her after getting out of the coma. She didn't have anyone's phone numbers, not even Mariko's or Ryo's.

Her thoughts drifted to her house. A wave of fear washed over her – which she quickly forced out. Everything was over, for him. _And for me as well…_

Violently she shut the thought. Her mind concentrated on finding a place to stay and money. With the fear mostly gone, she forced herself to think.

_He's not home right now…_

That was a funny thought. She always thought of the house with him in it. Without him, it was an empty place. Nothing to hurt her, nothing…she had to believe that. She shook her head slightly. Without him…all the house had…were his things… the computer…

…some money.

At the thought of going back, her body refused. Her mind was remembering everything however; the keys, the windows, the bookcases.

She stopped walking and leaned against a wall on the street, then sank down.

Where else did she have to go?


	2. Lost

A/N Yeah…here's an update…rather bloody chappie though. Thanks to Kyosuke-kun for reviewing! grins. Oh yeah, this chapter includes some of the other characters in real life… have fun matching the character to their real-world counterparts!

Notes on the names and ages:

I've followed canon, as much as possible. We don't know Crim's real name, nor do we know what happened to him after /SIGN… so my ideas on his actions are here. Nor are we given Mimiru's full name (I assume that since Mimiru is Japanese-sounding, she used her real first name, like Shuugo and the others).

Shouji Michiru is the name I've used for Ann's father.

Kyosuke-kun: on Mariko's age… I saw this picture from .hack/ZERO which has a real-life picture of her and Ann…she looks quite old…and from what I know, she's supposed to be twenty to twenty-five…(w/c partly explains Crim's interest in her).

Well anyway, .hack has a lot of unsolved mysteries in its stories (in a good sense, it's fun to think about) so I guess their ages are another thing to puzzle out. Haha. smiles

Ann's age, I'm sure, is around fourteen.

And no, I do not own .hack. I'd have a pile of gold if I did.

Chapter 2 – Lost

Shouji Michiru

12.40

The house where Ann once spent her days was just a typical house in the city, one of the many in the residential block where she lived, relatively big for just two people. In it, only one man stirred.

Shouji Michiru's mind was still reeling from the all the drinking he'd had the day before. There were sagging bags under his bloodshot eyes, his hair was mussed, and the entire house smelled of sweat and beer. Ever since being fired and accused of child abuse he had stayed in a cycle of getting drunk in the evenings and getting out of the hangover in time for another evening drink.

He tried to steady himself and fell heavily over a bottle. His fingers twitched involuntarily from the pain which shot through his body. Angry, his fingers groped the ground, found the bottle that had tripped him, and threw it into the wall. Glass shattered and what little remained of the drink dribbled down the walls. Then all was quiet, except for his heavy breath.

Moments passed. His mind was still too foggy, still too disoriented, to be able to move his body.

The watch ticked through its shattered glass, which had been hit by a bottle cap the day before. Seconds and minutes came and went.

Just as his mind was starting to clear up, he heard the latch of his front door unlock. His mind cleared faster, instincts and feelings taking over. He forced himself up as quietly as he could and made for the kitchen, which was in a room to the left of the front door. He hid behind the wall and watched. The door opened and in stepped a wary Ann, moving quickly but cautiously for the living room. She carefully walked over the shattered glass to a bookcase – where she knew he hid his money.

_The bitch!_ Shouji Michiru finally understood what she was trying to do. He picked up a bottle, not caring if his daughter heard, and went after her.

Ann started at the noise and saw her father, reeking of dirt and drink, drunkenly come after her. After a lifetime of beatings, her mind quickly remembered. Her first thought, ingrained as deep as instinct, was to huddle into a corner. But all that had changed – she forced herself to remain calm despite violent memories still imbedded deep in every cell of her body.

As he came and brought down the bottle, she ducked and made a scramble for the door. At first her father was so shocked by the rebellion he couldn't react, but he soon did. However hung over he was he was still older, still bigger, still stronger. With a stride he grabbed hold of his daughter and slammed the bottle into her. Ann let out a yelp and tried to free herself from his arm, though every turn of her torso hurt. She bit at his arm and tried to get away but still wasn't fast enough. He brought down the bottle on her shoulder so hard it broke. Fragments of the glass buried themselves into Ann's arm. She lost balance, fell kneeling on the floor and cried out. Just as quickly her father forced her to the ground, his hand putting pressure on her torso while the other one bore down on her bleeding shoulder.

"You stupid bitch," he said thickly, breathing down on her. Ann's mind remembered the smell, stronger than before, the words, the pain – not even her willpower could change years of habit so quickly. She could do nothing but yelp and whimper as her father brought back the memories she sought to forget with Subaru.

Imanogawa Tadeo

18.10

_So much work, so little time._ The company's growth may have added to its profits, but, at the frenzied pace it had been going, there was little time to play 'the World'. Normally this wouldn't bother him, but lately, Subaru's friend Tsukasa had been going through a rough time. It made him itch to play the game, if only to make sure everything was okay.

Tadeo booted up his computer, thinking of work. As the Altimit OS ran, he thought about everything that had happened, and decided that a little checking in 'the World' wouldn't be a waste of time.

Before he could even log-in, several emails popped up into his computer. One was flagged urgent. He knew who that came from.

Mariko Misono. Subaru. She addressed him as Crim, as she knew he preferred to keep things in the game. But what was inside the mail wasn't anything game-related. Tsukasa – Ann – Mariko called her, had left her. Being her usual worried self, she was asking Crim to see if he could help find her.

_This is not a game...not anymore…you do know what's going to happen next, don't you, Crim?_

He leaned back and stared at the ceiling, laced his fingers around the back of his head and sighed. He stared back at the message, which told the situation, from the moment she'd seen Tsukasa out of the hospital.

Why'd Tsukasa run off anyway?

After the Twilight Incident he could no longer confine 'the World', no longer keep it as his pastime or hobby. It had grown way out of control. And as much as he wanted to stay away from the mess that was brewing, he knew that sooner or later he'd get caught up in it. He might as well get in it now. Still, he hesitated to contact the others.

_This isn't about you…this is about the others…including Subaru as well._

So the decision was made. In or out of the game, he was still with his Lady.

_Of course, Subaru, _he thought, a tone of finality ringing in his mind.

He could understand the urgency. Ann was just fourteen, and with Tokyo a mess these days, the economy on the decline, things were bound to go wrong.

Machiko Sakura

19.50

_Ann's left? What could she be thinking?_

Sakura took a sip of her coffee, not noticing that it had already cooled. She was alone, as she always was, in her house. Mariko had sent out an urgent email asking everyone's help in locating Ann.

_Just like Tsukasa. Now you see her, now you don't._ She thought that everything was going to go smoothly after Tsukasa was able to log-out.

And as much as she hated to admit it, Tsukasa was one kid she wanted to look out for. Tsukasa in 'the World' was a perceptive player, even though 'he' was beset by problems left and right. Not many people guessed her online name's meaning too often. And there weren't that many people she kept for company, either.

Kadowa Mimiru

20.00

('the World')

"Tsukasa's gone? Where?"

"I don't know," Bear said.

"It's practically nightfall!" Mimiru knew Ann could take care of herself in the game, but this was real life. And she was fourteen here, with no spells to save her.

"That isn't the only problem we have." Ryo's voice sounded. "We were supposed to talk things over regarding the court proceedings, try to determine whether Tsukasa – I mean Ann – was stable enough to testify against her father. Things aren't going to be so simple now that she's missing. Her father may use this against us."

Ryo was silent on the other end. "We have to find her," was all she could say. She shook her head. How could Ann still be in doubt? They were her friends!

It was like she was back in the World again, trying to shake some sense into a doubting Tsukasa. "I guess change doesn't happen that quickly," she said.

"She's trying, Mimiru. She's definitely changed. All she needs to know is that whether we're in the real world or in a game, we're still here."

Mimiru spoke her agreement and logged off. The news took her mind away from questing in a dungeon.

_The reality change must have bothered her…_ Mimiru thought it over and knew it made sense. It wasn't so simple sometimes, to go back to the real world, after everything that had happened. True, Tsukasa lived in a virtual hell in 'the World', but that was also the only place she'd ever had friends. Mimiru thought it over and ,sighed, hoping that Ann was okay.

A/N There ya go, another chappie! Review please! I'm just a fledgling writer here, any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.


	3. Accusation

Okay…. here goes…  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed… it really means a lot to me… grins

So, thanks Spritznar, Eden Tsukimiya, Wolfy, Kyree (I hope you got my email about your offer), Niwani, and everyone else who has read this. Hehe.

So anyway, Luvien Azure presents… chapter 3…

Hope you guys like it…

**Chapter 3 – Accusation**

Sakuma Ryo  
09.40 (day 3)

This was not a good way to start the day.

"Have we got any leads?" Sakuma Ryo's lawyer was on the phone, asking him if there was any progress at all.

_ This is just what I need._ "Where the hell do we start looking?" his lawyer continued.

"I've been checking everywhere." He checked all of Ann's locations: her previous school, most of the internet cafes and shops in Tokyo, made a couple of phone calls to his contacts. Tadeo, with his business and networking, had done the same. Mimiru he couldn't depend on, because she had school, and certainly not Helba. This was out of the game. A wave of déjà vu washed over him; this was like those times, when they wondered about whether or not Tsukasa would show up, where he was, if he was okay. Mariko, he was sure, worried the most. This was an unpleasant first.

His lawyer on the other side paused, thinking. "All we can do is wait then. Since this is on hold, the child welfare workers sent by the government can't do their work yet – we don't have the last party involved. This gives Mr. Shouji enough time to clean things up."

"That isn't comforting…"

"Can we do anything about it?"

Misono Mariko  
12.00 (day 4)

In a small café, she waited. Waiting was something she had done before. But this time, it had never mattered so much.

Finally she spotted the man. He was wearing a coat and tie, slacks, and carried a briefcase. His face was angular and determined, his hair neatly combed just as she remembered him from before.

He spotted her and waved. She waved back. He took a seat opposite her and started to talk, skipping the pleasantries.

"One of my contacts talked to me today," he said, watching her carefully. "He's checked every back alley he knows, gone to every street. Talked to everyone, nearly."

"But Tokyo's a big city."

"I know. That's the trouble. We have a hard time coordinating. We can't even narrow things down. For all we know, she could be out in Kanagawa or some other prefecture, totally out of Tokyo."

Mariko said, "I'm not so sure."

Tadeo paused, waiting for her explanation. "If Ann was walking anywhere, I'm pretty sure she'd know what was going on. It's on the news," Mariko said.

"That's true… You think that if she knew she'd have a change of heart and come back?"

"Of course! Tsukasa – Ann – isn't the kind of person that just runs off without considering how other people feel…" she trailed off.

A moment later, she said, "I think she's being held somewhere… against her will…"

Tadeo, uneasy, crossed his arms. But Mariko continued anyway, "If we can work on that assumption, then we can conclude that she's somewhere private. Not on the streets, maybe not on the alleyways. Since we don't have a choice, we have to think she's somewhere in Tokyo." She paused again. "You can call me silly if you want to, Tadeo –" she stumbled on the name "– but I…I know that if Ann could, she'd come back. I don't think she knew…"

"You're saying that she's being held somewhere against her will. That's a pretty big assumption, don't you think? Not to mention the foundations are pretty shaky. After all, wasn't she the one who left?" Mariko looked away. "Maybe she doesn't want to be found."

"I don't think so, Crim." She looked at him, her eyes pools of sapphire burning into his green.

He leaned back and crossed his arms. He was defeated. "Okay, okay. I'll have my people look into your idea."

"Thanks, Crim."

Crim grinned and lowered his head respectfully, the way a knight would to honor a lady. "Of course, Lady Subaru."

As he raised his head and smiled at her, Mariko could not help but ask who it was who sat across her: was it Tadeo the businessman or Crim the player character?

Imonoyama Tadeo  
17.21

"Does it sound plausible?" Tadeo asked, over the phone. He had one of his best contacts on the line, and this contact may have been mollified by the pay yet Tadeo could still feel the irritation the man felt at being called for a case that had nothing to do with business.

"No." That was putting it flatly.

"But we don't have anything to go on."

"Listen, Mr. Imonoyama. This is all crap. We have an unstable subject, running off, and your friend has a court case breathing down on his neck. I don't even understand what kind of a kid would leave knowing that. Maybe she isn't worth it."

"I'm not paying you to complain," growled Tadeo. "And I don't think Ann knew this was going to happen. She was…forget it. Just tell me if you can think of anything at all based on those assumptions."

"You still assume that she is held somewhere against her will?"

"Yeah." Tadeo knew how wrong that sounded.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "A gang maybe? What about hackers?"

Now _that_ was farfetched. Tadeo dismissed it. "I doubt any hackers have her now. We don't have enough resources to look into that just yet."

"I feel the same. That doesn't leave anything else. Not unless…"

"Not unless…?"

There was another pause, and the sound of a woman in the background. "Yeah," the contact said, faintly. Tadeo heard him get back to the phone.

"Have you ever bothered checking out the girl's father?"

"No…"

"Your friend says he's checked every location she's gone to in the past. Doesn't the house count as a location…?"

"Against her will…" Tadeo trailed off. It was completely illogical for Ann to run back to her father's house. Then again, Tadeo considered running away from Mariko in the first place as even more illogical. He knew he wouldn't have done it.

But he said, "I'll take a look."

"Do that," the contact agreed, and hung up. Tadeo sighed once off the phone. He was pulling strings… Tadeo Imonoyama would never have mixed his personal life with a virtual reality.

The image of Mariko, her sapphire eyes gazing intently at him as she spoke of Ann, burned in his mind.

_ Mariko…_

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Well, there's the third installment…

Oh yeah…

On questions regarding how often I update, I'd like everyone to know that I update (or try to update) once a month at the latest, and twice a month at the earliest. Even though it's summer I still find it hard to find the time to sit down at the computer and actually write. I'm sorry I can't write any faster, it takes me forever to proofread my work. Actually, I find uploading doc files to quite a problem. For some reason, even after double spacing it and all, the paragraph indents never show up. Why is that?

So there, I hope that everyone's okay after reading this.

Hope you guys are enjoying it so far.

Next chapter:

(View of several screens showing different video clips:)

Handcuffs. Tokyo nights. Flecks of blood against tan skin. Wishes.

Breakthrough.

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Oh yeah… there's a button over there… you might wanna click it and make my day!


	4. Breakthrough

A/N: A long ch. 4 up… Thanks to niwani who reviewed… I tried to find time to write this faster.

Chapter 4 – Breakthrough

Shouji Ann

Shouji Ann was handcuffed in a room – which one she didn't have the strength to remember. She wasn't sure what day it was or what time. The curtains were drawn, there weren't any clocks. She lay on the ground, cuffed to a leg of an old bed rusty with disuse.

She moaned weakly, felt her tummy growl.

She didn't care what time it was. Her father wasn't around. This was probably the last chance she had. Her hands, sore and bloody from chafing, started to struggle against the handcuffs.

_ Come on…_she told herself_. You nearly broke this before…_

Imonoyama Tadeo  
14.24 (day 5)

His contact, reliable as always, had already scouted the area she lived in the past. A normal residential block, he said. Slightly out of the way, not close to any commercial areas or busy streets.

Now Tadeo had to decide whether to go or not – after all, he couldn't leave the entire affair in the hands of his people. This was a private matter after all. He had alternatives: talk to the police, leave this in Ryo's hands, whatever. But somehow he didn't warm to either idea. He found himself boiling down the matter to whether he'd stay silent or go. All or nothing.

If this was 'the World' there wasn't any question of his actions; he'd go head on. Nothing to lose, and everything to gain. And Crim's stats were maxed out, anyway. Nothing except for a virus or a guardian like Tsukasa's could stand in his way. (And even then he'd still have a pretty good shot at it.)

But this was the real world. No skills, no spells, no spears. He'd have his brain, his equipment, and hopefully, some luck.

_ …I might as well do it. What else is there for me to do anyway?_

He wondered if he should at least ask for help from Ryo. Then he decided to keep the older man out of it. He preferred doing things that way. And anyway, Ryo would ask questions and he didn't like that too much, even though he did get along with Bear in 'the World'.

Just as he was arranging his things, he found his hands growing heavy. What _was_ he doing?

His thoughts returned to his meeting with Subaru – Mariko in real life, he told himself – the other day. Whenever he looked at her, he knew, he _felt_ that he was looking at the Lady Subaru herself. Mariko and Subaru weren't two separate selves, unlike him and his character Crim. He had known that ever since his first meeting with her; the way she was so determined to play in 'the world' with an intensity no other player matched. She couldn't disentangle herself from the game the way he did, which was why he'd always remind her to play the game the way she wanted it played.

But deep down, it wasn't a game to Mariko. It was more real than her life.

And after seeing her again for the second time, he had started to doubt that he could play the game with the same detached attitude he'd had. After all, he had agreed to this. And if he couldn't detach himself, he was as good as dead.

Regret for his actions started to set in.

He tried to quell his doubts, feeling that nothing would come of it.

But as his mind went back to the task at hand, he still found himself doubting whether he could pull it off or not. The past few days had felt unreal; his real life was spent making deals and commissions; now they were spent hunting for a missing person, and then looking stealthily for her. How did that fit in with his real life?

Shouji Ann

_ I just have to keep on running…_

Running to where? Running to whom?

To Mariko?

To Subaru?

To Tsukasa?

If only she could have been Tsukasa…

Her father would have been happy. He wouldn't have hit her. Wouldn't have hurt her.

Everything still hurt. Her wrists were numb and she could barely move her arm, the arm her father had smashed. Her exhilaration at being free at first kept her from feeling the pain, but now it was back. Her torso also burned. Even the light breeze of the night wind stung.

Her steps slowed to a halt down a dark street. When she first left the house, it was late afternoon. But night had since fallen. She took the first break she dared to take that night. Between bags of garbage outside the residential blocks, close to the slums, she found a place to rest her eyes a little.

She still couldn't return to Mariko. Still couldn't return to Ryo, either. So she was back to square one, with no money and still no place to go, and a very battered body.

It was during these times she thought, childishly, of going to where her mother went. That would have made things simple. Just gone. She wouldn't have to feel her father's hatred at being born – that hadn't even been her choice in the first place. If she had a choice she would've preferred her death to a painful birth.

But hadn't Mariko changed that?

It was the first time since her mother's death that someone had said to her that she was special. Ann wanted to believe that. What was keeping her? Her father, who ruled her life for so long? Her own fear?

How had things changed when she got back in the real world…?

_ Why do I doubt them all so much? Is it because of what I am?_

For the nth time in her life, she wished she was Tsukasa.

Imonoyama Tadeo  
19.30

Tadeo parked his Benz in a parking lot several blocks away from the neighborhood. He was slightly irritated with himself – it was already seven thirty, and he expected Tsukasa's father out until eight or so. He was running out of time.

He was careful not to wear anything out of the ordinary – just pants and a shirt in dark colors. People were moving around, in an endless flux, not paying attention to anything, too engrossed in their own world, their own problems.

Night time in Tokyo: office workers getting drunk, bars opening, discos, music. Rarely did twilight touch this place; at any sign of the sun sinking, lights would flicker on. Tokyo came off as a city full of light even in the dead of the night… at least, the commercial districts were.

That was nothing new, at least to him. He walked down the streets, having memorized the map he had.

The first thing he planned to do was check the area. He entered an alleyway leading to Ann's old neighborhood. He walked down a barely-lit street – despite the fact that all the main streets in Tokyo were lit just as bright as day, quieter streets had lamplights set farther apart, and were sometimes broken. Tokyo was a mosaic of shadows and lights.

Tadeo kept walking quietly down the streets. Here and there he could hear some sounds, distant and vague – families greeting each other, having dinner, watching TV – but mostly, the place was silent.

Then, as he rounded a corner, still quite far from Ann house, he heard footsteps.

Faint and dragging, slow and labored. He could hear rubber scrape against the ground. He stopped. _Most homeless people don't hang around this place…_ was it a drunk? No…too early…

Then he heard a soft thump, the sound of a body falling down on the ground, dead to the world. Tadeo cautiously walked towards the dark body, which was close to the wall, far from any light.

He dug a small flashlight out of his pocket and turned it on.

Short auburn hair. Tan skin, red against the glare of his flashlight.

But no –

Tadeo shone the light on her body.

"Shit…" he mumbled. Her clothes were stained red. Her wrists were bloody, as was her entire upper body.

She'd been abused, obviously, and being so close to her father's house, with the clock ticking fast, there wasn't any time to waste. "Crap." He picked her up – noticed that she barely weighed anything – and tried to think of a way to reach his car without anyone noticing.

He walked quickly down the streets, this time keeping to the dark.

19.50

_ Where the hell am I supposed to go from here?_

As soon as he'd gotten to his car – trying to blend as much as possible with the crowd – he'd gently placed Tsukasa's form at the back.

True, he'd partly expected this; but to see dried blood caked around her neck and arms and torso…was way more than he'd expected.

He turned on the lights inside his car and placed a hand on the girl's dirty cheek.

He could feel the uneven breaks on her skin.

A short, labored gasp escaped the girl's throat. Tadeo quickly withdrew his hand, already flecked with dried, metallic blood.

And a thought hit him, a thought that had been bothering him ever since he saw the intensity of Mariko's gaze at their meeting. He'd kept it deep down, but now the thought and the memory which bore it flooded his mind.

Clear sapphire eyes.

He'd never caught her eye that way. And this kid, this one little girl, had. When she looked at him, that time they talked at the café…he'd never seen her more serious, more intense.

And she was right. She said that Ann would be kept somewhere against her will.

Tadeo sighed. _And here I thought I was over her. _For a fleeting, nasty second, he contemplated dumping the meek Ann somewhere and leaving her to the mercy of anyone who happened to find her.

And just as quickly as the thought came he crushed it.

Who was he, anyway? In the real world he was Imonoyama Tadeo, a businessman who got his deals the way he wanted them. And in 'the World' he was Crim, self-proclaimed defender of justice. The thought was so silly he often laughed at the difference. The difference between his 'self' in 'the World' and his 'self' in real life was so huge; a gap that he'd kept because somehow it made him stay sane throughout his life.

Or at least it had, until this point.

But being Crim in the real world turned out to entail sacrifices he was too selfish as Tadeo to make. He wasn't blind enough to deny that. In the end, he was still Tadeo in the real world; selfish, serious, not at all the light, happy-go-lucky person he was behind the screen. How was it, he thought, that there were two selves within him, so different?

Which of the two was real?

He came close to extending a hand again to touch Ann's cheek, but thought better of it.

He made a decision – rather than putting the girl into a hospital and staying the night, it was better if he just left the girl at Mariko's house.

Misono Mariko  
20.33

The doorbell rang. Mariko paid it little attention.

Then it rang several times, urgently. She sighed and wheeled slowly towards the door. She was in no mood to fend off anyone who happened to be wandering by

"Tadeo-" she stopped as she stared at the girl in his arms.

"A-Ann?"

"I ran into her down a street," Tadeo said quickly, letting himself in. He set her down on a couch, in Mariko's small living room.

Mariko barely spoke. Ann's condition –

She moved quickly towards her room and came out with an armful bandages and medicines.

"Go check the cabinet in my bathroom," she said to Tadeo. She gave him directions then turned to Ann. She reached out to touch the girl, then drew back and shook her head. _What can I do…?_

She didn't know where to start. For a moment she wondered what she was doing with all the bandages she had on her lap. Her eyes stung, but it was when she looked away and saw Tadeo that tears started to fall.

She looked down, unable to face him. Then again, she could barely see anything – everything was a blurry haze, as tears fell onto her glasses.

Mariko barely heard Tadeo's soft footsteps towards her. Gently, he removed her glasses and set them on the table, close to the couch where Ann lay.

_ Tsukasa… _

"Mariko…"

She closed her eyes and tried to blink back the tears. In Tadeo's voice she could hear an unspoken plea: _don't cry. Ann needs you…_

She brushed away the last of her tears and through red eyes faced Ann again. She took a deep breath and shook her head, as though trying to shake out every thought in it.

After a few silent moments, she said, "Tadeo, kindly call Ryo and ask if he can come over. I'll take care of Ann. If you don't know his number it's on the desk."

Next chapter:

(View of several screens showing different video clips:)

A bandaged body. A camera. Evidence. A tangle of laws.

Crisis Within.

Hey, if anyone's read this far… surely it wouldn't be much to ask for a review right? Pleeease… I can't offer much but the next chapter though… other than my undying gratitude of course…


	5. Inner Crisis

A/N: Kyosuke-kun's got a point when it comes to their ages. It's hard to tell, plus, I don't have ANALYSIS. But my sources point out that they are (I used wikipedia's info, as well as the Helba Gate site, which is by far one of the most comprehensive sites there are on the .hack/ series.)

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You guys keep this fic going y'know!

Disclaimer: I keep on forgetting to do this. Good thing a friend reminded me. At any rate, I don't own anything except the ideas.

**Chapter 5 – Inner Crisis  
**

**

* * *

**

Imonoyama Tadeo  
22.50

He knew it was time to go. Ryo would be arriving soon. And Tadeo knew that he really wasn't good with bandages and medicines.

_…Oh crap, what am I lying to myself for…_

He stole a glance at the quiet Mariko. For nearly two hours the woman had been quietly treating Ann after her brief outburst – if it could even be called that.

_Subaru…_

Now that her work was done, she leaned back on her wheelchair, breathing deeply. Her saw her eyes glimmer before she shut them tightly. Her fingers were bloodied, as were her clothes.

Then Tadeo's eyes moved over Ann. She was better, cleaner, covered with blankets and bandages.

Over the past hours he could hear her gasps of pain whenever Mariko treated a new bruise or laceration; other than that, her uneven breathing was mostly quiet.

He looked again to the tired Mariko.

"Mariko," he said softly.

She sat up and looked at him with eyes she forced to focus. The last traces of her tears were gone.

"Ryo's coming soon. I should get going." He moved towards her, though he was unsure of what to do.

Mariko said, hesitantly, "Thanks Crim. For everything. If there's anything I can do…"

_Can you call me Tadeo without stumbling on my name? Or will I just be Crim to you – something in the game 'the World', never fully real?_ Perhaps to her Crim was real, but the discrepancy between that character and himself was one Tadeo would forever remember. Never again would he forget. _How odd, _he thought. _Here I am, a grown man, having trouble with my own identity…_ it certainly didn't fit a businessman like him to suffer teenage identity crises.

He forced those thoughts out of his head and told himself to concentrate. "I am Subaru's Crim, after all." The words tasted bitter. _I thought I'd be fine if I was yours. Even if you weren't mine. So why… why do I hate seeing…?_

He moved back, wondering why for a second there he even thought of going close to Mariko. _I can't be Crim in real life_, he thought.

_I guess that's why it's Tsukasa she's with… because she can be with 'him' in the real world and in 'the World'. As for me… I'm just a Long Arm she came by… and there are no Long Arms in the real world. _

He turned his back to her and headed for the door. As he walked, however, a small hand tugged at his shirt.

"Crim... take care okay?"

He forced a smile as he looked back at Mariko. "Any wish of my Lady Subaru is mine to fulfill."

_And this is the last time I'll ever call you Subaru in the real world. _

Imonoyama Tadeo walked out of the house and into the car. He slammed the door as he went in and rested his head on the steering wheel for a few moments before finally turning the ignition.

* * *

Sakuma Ryo  
23.02

So this was Mariko's house. He rang the doorbell and waited patiently, maybe for a good five minutes before someone finally opened the door.

"Misono Mariko?" he said, looking a little surprised.

"Yes," the young woman replied, a little weakly. _Yes, _he agreed also, she matched the voice he remembered on the phone perfectly. And now that he looked at her closely, she did look like the girl in the photo he'd seen, when he pried into her files in the past.

"You are Sakuma Ryo?" she said, letting him in.

"Yeah. Didn't you see the picture I sent on the mail?"

Mariko led him into her living room. "I'm just…making sure."

"How…how's Ann? Crim…Tadeo said she was in pretty bad shape…"

"She's…" Mariko drifted off as Ryo saw Ann.

Ryo took a calm look at her, softly muttering, "Damn…"

Then he remembered the legal straits he was in. If he wanted to win, he'd have to be rational about the affair.

Ryo went to the couch quickly. He took out a small camera and took some pictures. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask why Tadeo (who introduced himself on the phone) didn't just send Ann to the hospital, _then_ called Mariko. It didn't seem to suit the businessman to be so careless – surely he knew that the sooner Ann was in the hands of the authorities, the sooner her father would be put behind bars. Not to mention that the medical assistance was better.

Ann's condition kept him from talking. His eyes moved to a pile of bloody clothes. He took pictures of those as well.

Then he stopped and threw a glance at Mariko. He caught the heavy look on her face, noticed the subtle traces of tears.

"Do you think I'm being crass?" he asked.

She looked at him. "No."

He looked away, somewhat disturbed by the look she gave him. They were just like Subaru's, and this time he didn't have a screen to hide behind.

She continued, "You're doing what you have to do." Her words were faint.

He put away the camera, feeling foolish. His fingers groped for a cigarette but one look at Mariko and Ann eased his hands. The cig his fingers held in his pocket was released.

_What am I supposed to say…?_

"I've already notified the authorities… they'll send a welfare worker here tomorrow and take her to a hospital." Watching Mariko's expression, he knew exactly what she was thinking. _So soon._

"We still have a case to settle… at least, that's what the court's decided."

"Do they even know what kind of shape Ann's in?"

"Tadeo gave me an idea, and I told them. But they still have to assess the damage." Having gone through court before, in a similar situation, Ryo knew how most felt about the words he used. _Assess the damage.__Procedures to follow when being notified. Police Assistance. On-the-Spot Investigation._

Cold, remote, formal. As though the law had gone through this a thousand times and thought everything was just routine, the entire process of determining the victim and the abuser, and the verdict. Words expressing everything down to the last dot, as though in those words they could sum up everything and make everything better.

But it wasn't. The last thing that could help Ann was the law; oh, sure, the law could put away her father, but would that magically erase the damage? Scars can be covered, but that doesn't hide the fact that they were there.

All of a sudden he remembered his wife, hiding behind a barrier of legal terms.

_Not now, Ryo. _He shook the thoughts off and tried to face Mariko, who had again fallen silent. He had never seen her like this – not that he was a judge of her character, since after all he hadn't even known her for a year – but this was something he wasn't expecting.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Mariko spoke first. "Will Ann be safe?"

"I'll make sure she will be." He was tempted to say that she could go with him, but did not want to give her hopes that could turn out to be false.

"Mariko… this is the fastest way to letting her recover." _This_ being… what, exactly? He wasn't sure.

He decided to change the subject. "How about we move her to a bed? Do you have a guest room, Mariko?"

* * *

Next chapter: 

One hand over another. Red and blue. Sunlight.

Warmth.

A/N: Poor Crim, really messed up guy… anyway, this is a fairly short chapter… would you guys prefer longer chapters, and would anyone object if I started to include other characters and their conflicts as well?

Although…it might take me a month or two before I post the next chapter though, since my school's starting next week.

And… before you press the back button, kindly press the button below… yeah, that one… thanks!


	6. Warmth

A/N: College life is somewhat hectic. No actually, it's very hectic. Everyone's getting into an organization and now I really have to have a social life. Haha. Sorry I couldn't upload this faster… anyway, here ya go, guys…

Oh yeah, Murgatroyd, in response to your question… I have been searching for that site which had it. There's a French site detailing .hack/ZERO with the picture of Mariko and An together though… I sorta assumed it was in the novel.

The link, if anyone's interested, is http/perso.orange.fr/dothackfrance/hackzero.htm

Chapter 6 – Warmth

Misono Mariko

02.53 (day 6)

"P-please…f-father…no..not…it…it…hurt…s"

She could see Ann's hands, twitching, her body still contorted in pain. Worried that the girl would hurt herself, Mariko laid a hand on her friend's, trying to comfort her somehow. Mariko'd been sitting there all night, on the bed. And ever since early evening, when Tadeo found her, Ann had been unconscious.

She asked herself just what Ann meant to her, as she stroked the younger girl's sweat-soaked face. She remembered the first time she saw Ann, her body responding strongly to the younger girls' despite never having seen her before. She felt it, felt that it was Tsukasa, that only Tsukasa could look so calm and reassuring despite troubles of his own. It was the same with that girl Mariko saw. Whether Tsukasa was a boy or Ann was a girl, it didn't matter; the two were the same. Both of them had clear eyes despite the taint in their lives.

She knew then that she loved Ann.

She knew why she had refused Crim a long time ago – a decision which was not easy. Crim was like an older brother to her.

Ann moaned in her sleep, Mariko felt the pain as well. She tenderly stroked Ann's cheek and felt the girl relax a little. Brown eyes slowly opened, slowly adjusted to the lamplight. Mariko felt the girl shrink back at the faint light.

"…Ann?"

"M-ma...Miso-" before Ann could say anything else, Mariko saw the girl's eyes overflow with tears which spilled down onto the sheets.

Mariko quickly reached out for the weak girl and held her as close as she could. _It's okay… _

She said nothing, letting the girl cry.

"I…I'm so…so…sorry," Ann said, brokenly. "I…I'm…"

"It's okay… you have nothing to be sorry about…"

_It's okay._ She felt Ann understand those words, felt as though a knot loosed itself from her friend's chest.

"Everything's going to be alright, Tsukasa."

The girl's head tilted; she looked away at the sound of the name. "I'm not Tsukasa, Mariko. I…"

"Don't doubt yourself…"

"I'm not a boy…I ran away…"

"And I told you before that it didn't matter. You're yourself, you're Ann, and you're Tsukasa…"

Tears glimmered at the edges of the girl's eyes. She sat up and hugged Mariko. "Y'you mean that, don't you? All-all I wanted was for my father to love me… I couldn't see why he didn't…why he insisted that being a boy…being Tsukasa was better…even though…even though…being Tsukasa meant taking all my memories, drowning away…"

Mariko was silent, letting the girl talk.

Ann could say no more. She cried; for how long, Mariko didn't know. All she knew was that she had to be there. Finally Ann relaxed a little. She felt the girl slowly lose consciousness, as her body, still exhausted, finally gave in.

Mariko let the girl wrap her feeble arms around her, unwilling to let go of the warmth.

Kadowa Mimiru

08.43

She rang the doorbell, checked the paper she had. The name register printed "Misono Mariko" in front of the gate, but she had to be sure.

She waited a short while, and, feeling impatient, was about to press the buzzer again when the door opened. Out stepped a forty-something man, onto the porch. He walked over to the gate.

"Uh… is this Misono Mariko's house?"

"That's what's written, isn't it?" the older man said.

"Bear? Is that you? Sakuma Ryo, right?"

"Right. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Kadowa Mimiru." He bowed.

Mimiru bowed back, and glared at him. "Hey! You did research on all of us, didn't you? What a cheat!"

"Not on everyone. Just you, Subaru and Tadeo."

Mimiru simply pouted and looked at Ryo. The man certainly was old; his hair was graying and he was wearing a rumpled coat that reminded Mimiru of all the office workers in Tokyo. He had lines on his face as well.

"Misono Mariko? This is…"

"Subaru's house."

"Wow. She lives here by herself?"

"Yep."

The two of them went inside.

She took a good look at the house. It was pretty much like hers – a typical Japanese residential house. It was pretty big for one person to be living in all by herself, though. To the left of the front door was the living room, which was pretty cramped. There was a sofa which looked like it had been slept on the night before, as well as a couch and several chairs around a small table. Further on was the dining room, and several other rooms were to her right.

"No stairs…" she said, thinking aloud. That was unusual.

"None," Ryo said.

"So where is Mariko, anyway? And Ann?"

"Still sleeping. We'll have to wait. Have you had breakfast already?"

"Of course! What about you, old man? Can you cook?"

Ryo raised an eyebrow, all of a sudden looking very Bear-ish. He ignored the old man comment. "I can. I was planning to make breakfast here, actually."

"Subaru – I mean, Mariko – is letting you use the house?"

"Well, yeah. While I'm cooking, can you knock on the second room at the right? That's where they're sleeping. But don't go in."

Mimiru nodded, her playful look replaced by a somber one. "You told me… a social worker's showing up later, right?"

"More or less. We still have a case to settle."

Mimiru said nothing. She'd heard about cases like this before and didn't like the idea.

Shouji Ann

10.00

_That night when I went back to sleep I didn't have a nightmare. It's been so long since I haven't had one…_

Light was streaming from the huge window outside. Birds were again chirping, a steady stream of sound like a river passing gently by. The breeze came in gentle bursts, keeping everyone cool, passing though the chimes which tinkled upon the fragile floors of the wind.

Ann opened her eyes, blinking. She sat up, only to find that another weight kept her from doing so. An arm was draped loosely over her torso. She winced. It still hurt.

_Mariko…stayed the night with me?_ There Mariko was, still sleeping next to her, her glasses askew and her hair mussed. Ann looked at her, a smile lifting her face for the first time in a week. She stroked the older woman's long hair and wished hers could grow long as well. Slowly she remembered what happened the night before.

Her hand slid down to Mariko's face. She fixed the glasses then brought her hand down, slowly caressing her friend's cheek.

To her surprise, Mariko blinked. Ann quickly took her hand away, but Mariko sat up and caught the wrist and slowly led it back to her cheek. She felt the warmth of Ann's fingers and smiled. It looked like Ann was getting better fast.

"Ohayou, Ann-chan."

"O-ohayo gozaimasu, Ma-mariko…chan…" Mariko laughed as she saw Ann's face turn red. She let the hand go.

"Did you have a hard time sleeping?"

"No…not at all…" Ann tried to get up but found that her limbs hurt too much.

Mariko noticed. Concerned, she said, "You need a hand?"

Ann just shook her head, despite the soreness of her limbs, especially at her head, shoulder, and ribs.

Briefly, pain marred the older woman's features. She remembered the bruises she saw the day before as she stripped Ann, treated her wounds and put on the bandages. As it was, all Ann was wearing was her underwear and a robe, with a sash not too tightly wound around her.

"Your body will take some time to heal. We'll be taking you to a doctor soon… if that's okay with you…"

Ann nodded again. "As long as you're there…"

Mariko looked at Ann with crystal clear, sapphire eyes. "I'll always be with you."

And yet, for a fleeting second, Ann felt a stab of guilt.

Next Chapter:

Hands outstretched. The light within a sterile hospital, drab, void. Identity.


	7. Identity

Whee! Chap 7 UP! The plot thickens…

Chapter 7 - Identity

Imonoyama Tadeo

11.20

"Yeah. Yeah, we got her."

"It was a pretty wild goose chase, all things considered. We were running after her, and all that time she was trying to come back."

Tadeo nodded, though of course the other person on the end of the cell phone couldn't see. Now that he was away from Mariko's house, away from the two of them, he had started to think clearer. The emotions he had been bogged down with evaporated, as soon as he was back in the familiar confines of his house.

"Boss? I hear you have another trip…"

"Yeah, I do." Tadeo's curtness put off any other comments the man on the other side wished to give. Tadeo could already guess what the man was probably going to say: _they're going to give you a summons, pretty soon. _

He finished the rest of the talk and sulked over the thought of being subpoenaed.

After all, he was involved. And he couldn't just get out if.

Damn it, why did he get into this? What crazy idea made him think that he could still be Subaru's Crim in real life?

_Things change…_

Things change very quickly.

His thoughts were interrupted by a phone call.

It was Ryo. _Damn. _

"Yeah?"

"I just thought you ought to know… Ann's being taken to a hospital. She's being… assessed by someone from the courts right now."

"That's good." Inside he felt sick. He'd always hated courts.

For a while there was no response on the other end. Ryo seemed to be choosing his next words carefully. Tadeo's expression was blank; he could already tell what was on Ryo's mind. He knew he still didn't have any answers, but he'd be damned if he admitted that. He sighed. He liked Bear; like most people he met in 'the World', however, Bear was not Ryo. Mostly, but not completely. Or…maybe it was more the fact that he was not Crim in the real world that set him apart from the others.

"Were you being careless on purpose?"

"Not really." He didn't trust himself to say any more.

"Tadeo…"

"Look, Ryo, I volunteered to help. And I did help – I found Ann. But now I have to get back to work … whether you like it or not, some people have to work in the real world."

Inside he could tell that the evasion was weak. Ryo probably saw right through him. "Is that why you've always kept the two apart?" _Crim and Imonoyama Tadeo._

_That's what makes me so different from Subaru. To her 'the World' isn't a game. Even though I've told her that it is enough times… she still engrosses herself… in a world where she can walk… even if that world isn't really all that true…_

He had to reply to Ryo's prying questions.

"Ryo… catch me some other time, okay? I'm… not in the best of moods. I can't answer that."

There, he said it. He didn't want to think about it and certainly didn't want to talk about it.

Ryo's tone was bland when he replied. "Fine. But can I ask… if you're going to be around when the court begins…"

"I don't think so."

"They'll talk to you, you know."

"I know, I know, witnesses and all. Can't you scrounge around elsewhere for your evidence?"

"You found her."

_Well damn that. _"They'll catch me when they catch me. Until then, it's business as usual."

On the other line, Ryo simply said, "Where are you going this time?"

"Round trip around Asia." He didn't like the way Ryo changed the subject and resolved not to say anything more.

"If you can't do it, then I guess you can't." A faint click followed those words.

Tadeo slammed the phone down.

If he was Crim, if this was 'the World', everything would be perfect.

But it wasn't.

Misono Mariko

16.00

The hospital was like many she'd been too. Everything was white and spic-and-span, but not quite right. Even Mimiru admitted that she wasn't too happy about visiting hospitals. Doctors, she claimed, were too impersonal. Mariko, who had been in and out of hospitals since her accident, knew how she felt.

Ann was being questioned by the doctors and workers, by herself. The staff had made it perfectly clear that in assessing the patient's mental and physical health they wanted no outside factors.

Ryo was elsewhere in the hospital, making arrangements for Ann's room. That left Mimiru and Mariko, who was slightly apprehensive, together.

"Hey Mariko."

The older woman nodded. "Yes?"

"You know… I used to think you were a kid or something. I didn't know were…an adult."

"While you fit your character just fine."

"Don't I? I made sure to pick someone who looked like me!" Mimiru grinned. "Bear looks like his character sometimes… I mean, the expressions… and Ann looks like a tan Tsukasa. I wonder what the others look like in real life… hey, you've seen Crim, what does he look like?"

"Tadeo doesn't look anything like his character, actually." Mariko remembered: Crim's hair was spiky, uncontrollable, and long. He was open and breezy, cool and light. But as Tadeo… Mariko almost felt like he was a little like her: serious and proper. His hair was cut short and there was a somber look on his face that never went away, even when he smiled. But he was always careful to act as Crim around her; Mariko took it for granted and didn't say anything about how he was.

"Well I guess it'd be too hard to put on enough gel to keep his hair standing up every morning. What does he do for a living? He is working, isn't he?"

"He's a businessman. I'm not sure what position though."

"Businessman?" Mimiru made a face. "It doesn't seem to suit him. He always seemed a little happy-go-lucky as Crim."

"You could say that when he's playing as Crim he's more at ease. Being a businessman requires a lot of formality… you could say he plays to forget about having to deal with others properly all the time."

"If Crim's really a businessman… he must be somewhere high."

Mariko was about to ask her why she'd think that when they were interrupted by a doctor who approached them. "Excuse me… you are with Shouji Ann, correct?"

"Yeah, that's us."

"The testing is through for the patient. All that remains is for her to be treated… if you want to see her, please come with me."

"Of course we do!"

The next few hours later Mariko and Mimiru were silent as Ann patiently allowed herself to be led into a bed, strapped into all sorts of instruments, poked and prodded.

"I can see that you and your…companions did well in treating her. But this is going to take a while to heal. Some of the wounds there are quite old, others are… well, basically, it will take time. A lot of it." The doctor paused, unsure of how to continue. He kept on glancing at Mimiru. "I…I can't allow her out of this hospital. Not tonight, anyway. Maybe for the next two days, she might be strong enough. And that's the best case scenario. But not now. Not in the condition she's in." Unspoken, the doctor marveled at his new patient's endurance.

"Can one of us stay?"

"That would be a good idea."

Mimiru looked at Mariko. "You must be tired. You want me to stay?"

"What, and have you miss school tomorrow? I'll take care of things. Your parents would get mad at me."

Mimiru grinned. "You have a point."

"Hey Mimiru…" Ryo spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"Can you get some stuff from Mariko's house? Like clothes and stuff?"

Mariko shot a glance at Ryo and realized he was right. "Only if it's not too much trouble," she put in.

"Hey sure. Ryo's already given me a tour of the house."

"Thanks."

19.50

As soon as Mimiru left, the doctor spoke to Ryo and Mariko about Ann's condition. He'd already made a detailed report and was waiting for several other documents to come in.

"Did you…did you really find her walking in Tokyo in that state?"

_Limping and falling, actually. _But she didn't say that. "Well… Imonoyama Tadeo, who isn't here, found her."

"Can you contact him?"

She was about to say yes when Ryo answered for her. "No. I think he's already left Japan… he's a businessman, as the profile states, and he leaves quite often…"

"The court is going to require-"

"We can settle this with a phone call, can't we?"

The doctor simply nodded.

As the doctor asked question after question, Mariko found her thoughts returning to Ann.

"You look tired, Mariko," Ryo said, finally, as the doctor scribbled something down on his notebook.

"I'm…not very fond of hospitals."

"Can we see Ann?" he addressed the question to the doctor, who nodded. "As I understand it, Ms. Misono will be taking care of her. That is with your permission, isn't it, Mr. Sakuma?" even though he spoke to Ryo, he looked carefully at the cripple, trying not to look critical. Mariko knew that look well enough to know what it meant.

And now that the case was back in action, Sakuma Ryo was responsible for everything that happened to Shouji Ann.

"It is," he said.

He had a couple of minutes with Ann, who was also tired. But she lit up when she heard the familiar whish of Mariko's wheelchair. Ryo, understanding, left for the moment, saying he'd check on Mimiru.

"How are you feeling, Ann-chan?"

"Better," the girl smiled.

_How can you bear to look at someone as weak as me?_ It was so simple in 'the World'. Why couldn't things be as simple in real life? She still loved Ann…_but is that love going to be enough…after all she's gone through?_

And, at the back of her mind, was the guilt flooding steadily through her; irrational though it was, she felt responsible for Ann's actions.

Shouji Ann

20.10

She felt guilt again, heavier than this morning's. Even after the night before…

_I am a burden again…_

The thought hurt, but to show pain would be even worse. She knew that Mariko was sensitive enough to understand. So she tried to smile. Mariko was doing all she could do, and yet…_all I can do is sit here…_

Again she was reminded of why she tried to leave in the first place…and ended up distressing her friends more.

_That one week they were all worried about me…and I have nothing…to give back…_

The two of them were silent, a silence that held meaning only for the two of them.

Finally Ann looked away. She said, in a voice barely heard, "I'm sorry, Mariko. For everything." She wished she could cry, but found that the tears wouldn't fall. Her eyes remained clear.

"Ann…"

"I…I promised I'd be with you…but…"

Ann trailed off; Mariko was silent. For some reason fear took hold, like vines ensnaring her, keeping her away from Ann.

"But I don't know…if I can… I shouldn't bother you anymore, Subaru…" _I should leave._

Part of Mariko wanted to ask why. Part of her wanted to scream. And the fear gripped her tighter, tangled in her throat. Not even a gasp came from her lips.

Ann, still looking away, took this as acceptance.

And this time, tears started rolling down her cheeks. _I have to do this…_she kept on telling herself. _I am a **burden**…and I can't be anymore…_

But she couldn't shake the sadness. What was it from Mariko she wanted? What was it from her she expected?

She didn't know.

Next chapter:

Same television screens, all showing static, grey fuzz. No signal. 

Empathy.


	8. Empathy

Chapter 8 – Empathy

* * *

Shouji Ann  
20.25

She was still there, wondering how long she could stay quiet until Mariko left. Despite the sadness, she refused to break down. The beatings were still heavy on her mind, the fear that a sniff would incite a thousand blows.

Then she felt warmth encircle itself around her. Mariko pulled her gently close, embracing her as much as her chair allowed. The snares had vanished, as the first tear fell from Ann's eyes she no longer felt the fear. It was a selfish emotion…and here was someone she loved in pain. What was fear to that?

She held Ann as softly as the girl's injuries would allow. Then Ann turned and fiercely returned the hug, burying herself in Mariko, tears still running down her cheeks.

She understood. She could feel Ann's sadness, _felt_ why the small girl ran away.

It was fear.

Mariko ran a hand through Ann's hair and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes and thought, _…no more fear, not for the two of us…_

And Tsukasa finally understood as well. The fear had left her completely. Gone was the fear of paining Subaru. Because all she felt that all Mariko needed was for Ann to be there, and all Ann needed was her.

Fear, which had driven her for so long, was gone.

After a while, Ann's tears stopped. She looked at Mariko the same way she looked at Subaru at 'the World' – with clear eyes.

Then she grinned. "How're you going to stay here? There isn't any couch!"

Equally mischievous, Mariko replied, "I guess you'll just have to move over."

Ann was slightly surprised to hear that coming from Mariko. But the woman's playful smile carried with it a lightness and grace that was never lost, not even in moments like those.

"What about Ryo?"

"He can leave our stuff outside."

(When Ryo came in some time later, he was rather shocked to be told by the orderly that the patient inside didn't want to be bothered and would just take her stuff in the morning after.)

* * *

Sakuma Ryo  
22.00 (day 10, several days after)

The court proceedings were going well. As well as could be expected.

The evaluators who checked up on Tsukasa made a very thorough report on her condition, down to the estimated date the beatings occurred. With no alibi and a disheveled mind, Shouji Michiru had no way of defending himself. Ryo could see that in the exasperated looks Mr.Shouji's lawyer gave the man.

Now the court was trying to settle 'what was in the best interests of Ann' and the appropriate punishment for her father. He was again expected at court, two days later, in the morning.

_ I wonder if Ann should go with me, at least until the lobby… _

But why? Ann didn't need to be dragged into the mess; the report showed (though he told no-one) that Ann was in a delicate state. In other words, she didn't need another violent event to mess her mind up. And Ryo thought that the permanent loss of her father would certainly fit the bill. He knew that no matter how much Ann desired her father out of her life the actual occurrence was still something out of  
the ordinary. The man was still her father, after all. With all that had happened, Ryo didn't want to add more.

He sighed and buried his face in his hands. He glanced at his papers, his stories. He as the author always set the problem, the answer and the actual resolution. But this was not his story, and he knew no words could ever express what was happening.

Then a call came.

"Sakuma Ryo?"

He recognized the voice. "Sakura Machiko."

"You sound pretty tense there. Is everything going well with the case?"

"Well… it's been swift, especially after the testimony and evidence regarding Ann's short stay at her father's house."

He heard a short 'hmph' over the other end. "So what have the courts decided?"

"They're going to settle that two days from now."

"Do you think they're going to hand over the guardianship to you?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Hearing those words come from you is a surprise. Either you sound modest or you sound stupid. That isn't like you."

Ryo laughed. "I guess not. But it's the truth."

"There's a quiet cafe close to my house. You want to come by?"

"Sure. I've got no other plans anyway."

"That's another surprise. You, with all your stories and detective work… actually taking time off?"

"Well I'd say that a quiet place in Akihabara is just as surprising."

"Your deduction's wrong, Mr. Detective. It's not in Akihabara. But close."

The two agreed to meet and, after giving Ryo the right directions, the two hung up.

* * *

Sakura Machiko  
22.41

The café she was in was ill-lit, quiet and somber. The perfect place for a meeting. Unlike other dark places which served as meeting places for various escort services in the area, the place was more for people who just wanted to meet. The proprietor of the place was careful to keep hosts out, not out of the fear of getting busted, but because he truly wanted the bar to cater to certain kinds of clients.

Machiko, of course, was one of his regulars.

"Why hello, madam, would you like your usual table?"

"Not today… get me a table with two chairs okay?"

"Is madam actually seeing someone?" The proprietor allowed a tone of disbelief to enter his voice. _You're seeing someone…here?_ She could almost hear him say it.

"An old friend, yes."

The older man, the owner, smiled and showed her to a table.

"Thanks."

"Perhaps I should have one of my waiters wait outside for your friend. He might get lost…"

"Don't worry about it."

"Very well then."

"Oh and… I'll have the usual."

"Of course, madam."

Within minutes, Ryo had come in. She watched him eye the place quickly and spot her. She nodded and he came over.

"'Harry's'. What is this place? It's the first time I've ever heard of it."

"It's a quiet place where people go to get away. The prices here are high because… of the privacy, as you can guess. It's well known to people like me."

"Models trying to get away from the paparazzi?"

"Quit that Ryo, I'm not a model anymore. But yeah, this place was introduced to me when I was into that."

"I see."

"Did you have any trouble finding the place?"

"Not with your directions. But… an outsider would find it hard to wander in here."

"That's the point of this place." Her drink arrived, hot, and she ordered the same for Ryo.

They were silent until his drink arrived. After a sip Ryo looked at her. "What is this?"

"It's a special blend they got here. Caffe Americano with something…else."

"It's pretty good."

"It's pretty expensive. But it looks like your less tense now."

"Y'think?"

"Why don't you just go ahead and tell me what bothering you?"

Machiko smiled as she saw Ryo's tense features settle. He was getting ready to tell a story. The coffee here was said to have the same effect alcohol had on people: it made them talk.

_ The owner will be getting a really good tip tonight…_

Ryo filled her in on everything: Tadeo finding Ann, Tadeo taking off, Mariko taking Ann to the hospital, her stay, the trial, and finally, the question.

"Do you think that I should let Ann go with me? To the trial?"

"The question is if the medical examiner will say yes."

"I can force the issue…"

"Then I think that you should."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. It's not like she can settle things be cowering in the corner."

"Wouldn't it count as a traumatic experience?"

"Kids can get through anything. She survived 'the World' didn't she?"

"But…"

"I'm sure Ann can handle it. More importantly… she should." _She can't stay locked in bad memories forever._

"Is it really that simple?"

Machiko refused to answer. That was the problem with men: even when you answered the question they were _still _forcing the issue.

After a few moments of silence it finally sunk in Ryo's head that yes, it really was that simple for her. She watched as he slowly pieced together in his head just why she called him out of his house.

"You could have told me that over the phone."

"What? My answer?"

"Yeah, and that you just wanted to see me."

"The last time I asked a guy out he turned me down rather brutally."

Ryo caught on as to who the 'guy' was. "Crim doesn't strike me as the brutal type."

"Well, I guess he wasn't. It was just that he was so… _honest._ I was expecting more flattery from a businessman."

"Then it's Tadeo you want to talk to, not Crim."

"Whatever. I'm with you right now, aren't I?"

Ryo smiled. "So what plans do you have for us tonight?"

"How about a movie? That'll get your mind off all the trouble you've gotten yourself into. Don't get too into things, Ryo. It's not good for someone as old as you."

Underneath the tease, Machiko hoped he felt her concern.

* * *

Next Chapter: 

Screens 

Ties, shackles, chains, restrictions. A single hand which cannot clap. Bonds which are held until death. Friends which call out.

Attachments.

A/N: REVIEW PLEASE! Btw, I don't know if anyone's noticed this, but Harry's is a bar from the anime show Witch Hunter Robin. A lot of the characters there go to relax, and I thought that the classy look of the restaurant reflected BT's personality. Also, as a cultural point, escort or host services are polite terms for prostitution (usually, though sometimes they really ARE just host or escort services.)


	9. Attachments

Chapter 9 – Attachments

Shouji Ann  
10.09 (day 14)

_Everything's over with dad._

Ann should have felt happy. Her father was far, he'd never touch her, never hurt her…

_And yet…_

And yet he was the last relation she had. The last thread connecting her with her mother, who now lived in a fading memory.

_No…he's not the same man…_

She forced herself to believe that that man was no longer the same man who once cared. She had scars enough to prove that. But, like her mother, the man she once was proud to call father was in a faraway land, as far as time could hurl him.

She walked down the hallway, each step taking her farther and farther from her father. She said nothing, kept her face blank. Ryo, next to her, didn't know what to say. He too had his fill of thoughts.

_The last time I stepped into court I lost my son and my wife_. Bitter thoughts, he knew, served no purpose and helped no one. Now that he was stepping out of court he was getting a second chance at being a father – despite the legal truth that he was just her guardian. He didn't want to sour things with memories. But it worried him, inside, that he would mess this up too.

Out of the corner of his eye he watched Ann. The girl's face was emotionless and pale. _Damn it, what am I supposed to say to her?_ He'd been at a loss for words…odd, considering his occupation. _Should I offer ice cream? _It was hard for him to picture Ann as Tsukasa…he was still adapting to the change.

So far she and Mariko had only four days in each other's company. Were things going too fast for Ann? He wished he could ask the Mariko's opinion. She'd know what to do.

But he had to try. "Hey Ann…" he started. The girl looked up. "You want something to eat? I know a good place for ice cream…"

Ann was about to shake her head when she thought she was being unfair to him. Just because she was feeling crappy didn't mean she had to drag Ryo in. He was trying his best. So she nodded, even though she wasn't fond of ice cream or anything most kids her age were. Not with her childhood…

"Okay," she said.

They reached the end of the hallway, left the building, and got into Ryo's car. As he drove he wondered whether he should tell her how soon she'd have to start school. Well, he'd have to break it sometime.

"Is it okay if you have to start school within the next month?" he asked.

"That soon?" Ann said.

"Yeah. The new term's going to start within 5 weeks. It's pretty rushed, I know, but if you want, you can stay at Mariko's house until then. I won't ask you to move in with me – you've been moving around too much already. Unless you want to of course…" He didn't want to force things on her just yet.

"Are you sure I can stay at Mariko's place until school starts?"

"Well, I'll have to ask you to take a test to ascertain your suitability for your year, but yeah, I guess there isn't any rush in moving in."

"That's a promise, then." Ann smiled. "And don't worry about the test, Ryo."

Ryo nodded. Minutes passed between them.

Finally he said, "You can visit your father, if ever you want to."

"Why the hell would I want to do something like that?" Ann looked at Ryo, her voice harsher than she intended.

_What do I feel for that man, anyway?_

Ryo winced mentally. That was the first time he'd ever heard her swear. The smile just seconds ago disappeared completely. "Well, blood is thicker than water…and things need to settle between you two."

Ann shrugged – Ryo thought it looked more like a shiver – and looked out the window. _Ouch. Wrong thing to say._ Somewhere at the back of his mind, though, Ryo felt that one day, she'd have to settle things with her father. Privately, not where all the lawyers could find them. Just as he wished to see his own family again.

As much as he hated to admit it, he wanted to see his son, even though his son didn't seem to think of him as anything but a piggy bank.

When they got to the ice cream parlor Ann had little to say, still mulling over what Ryo said.

Ryo sighed and wished he could have just shut up.

Misono Mariko  
(17.44)

Mariko heard the door ring and braced herself to see Ann and say goodbye. She knew that Ann was going to school very soon, and that after, there'd be little time for them to be together.

She went for the door and opened it. Ann greeted her with a hug.

"Hey Mariko, guess what? Ryo's letting me stay with you until school starts!" She squeezed Mariko's body a little tighter before pulling away. Mariko looked over Tsukasa to see Ryo smile a little.

"I don't think Ann needs to move around so much. So she'll transfer to my place after the first term in school, at vacation. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay, Ryo," Mariko said, the corners of her lips lifting upward.

"Thanks…Ryo…" Ann turned to her new guardian, slightly ashamed she couldn't find words of appreciation. She knew he was being generous. But that earlier remark lingered in her mind, and she could not shake it off.

Ryo smirked a little. "Just behave, Ann. If I hear any complaints, you're going straight to the dormitory in school. Okay?"

Ann nodded. They said their farewells, then Ann pushed Mariko in.

(20.00)

Shortly after dinner, Ann was washing the dishes. Ever since her return from her father's house, she insisted on helping out despite Mariko's protests that she was still too injured. Every so often she even helped out in Mariko's work – she learned that Mariko was a freelance translator who accepted any work that came her way. She could speak and write in seven languages fluently. And since her table was always full of paper despite her attempts to keep them orderly, Ann helped tidy things up a little whenever there was just too much.

"Whatcha working on?" she asked from the kitchen. In Mariko's work room, she heard a distant reply: "Updating an old English edition of a Japanese book."

Ann finished the dishes and went down the hallway to where Mariko was typing away. A copy of the book lay next to her. Notes on the text lay sprawled around the table.

"Need any help?"

"It's alright. You look a bit tired. How were things in court?" Mariko had been a little hesitant to bring it up, but it came out of her mouth anyway.

She felt the girl stiffen a little. "Well, dad's gone."

_Dad? That man?_

So she was still calling that man her father. That wouldn't ever change, Mariko supposed, but for Ann's sake, she hoped that one day the two would make up. That would set her free from the past.

Going to a boarding school, having Ryo as her legal guardian, all of that could take her away from her father, but none of that could ever erase the fact that he was and that the bond between them had existed. She knew that Ann couldn't run away from that forever. As long as the two hated and blamed…

At the moment, all she could do was be there for Ann.

Ann on the other hand was trying to get away from the subject. "What about you Mariko? Don't you have some sort of family yourself?"

She continued. "I used to live here with a…boyfriend…several years ago, but when he left he took most of our pictures. I don't really have any other family, except an elder brother – both my parents are dead, actually."

Ann decided to leave the boyfriend out of the conversation. "You have a brother huh? Must be nice to have a normal family."

"We…don't really talk." _My family…I guess you could call them normal…but is it normal for people to drift away like this? _For some reason or another, she couldn't talk to her brother, the last relation she had. They didn't feel anything for each other, actually.

And when Mariko had lost her legs, no one else had come to help her. Mentally she recoiled at the memory.

_"Is there no one living with you, miss?"_

How she wished then that she could have answered his name.

Ann felt Mariko's unease and decided not to pursue the topic. "Families… I guess we can't get away with them."

Mariko agreed. "Yes…I think so…"

She asked herself if she would ever be able to tell Ann her entire story.

A/N

Actually, the word Mariko uses for this in Japanese is koibito, which means 'lover', making things a little complicated for the two. Ann calls this guy her former 'boyfriend' because it is slightly embarrassing to think about (hey, she's only fourteen.)


	10. Distortions

Note:

Please forgive the long delay.

Also, I don't own .hack//SIGN.

This is an edited version of the chapter i put in originally, with only one change: the real name of Sora (augh, I don't have a copy of that Perfect Guide). Crikey, it's going to be hard to keep my information very accurate as the creators of .hack// are revealing more and more very slowly, especially since the story will delve into Mariko's past a little. (Uh, creative license, anyone?)

Cheers to Mr. Kyosuke-kun for the information. I'll have to recheck .hack// sites for info...

Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 10 – Distortions

Kadowa Mimiru

17.55 (day 15)

The World

She walked around Dun Loireag, hoping she could bump into Bear. They'd agreed to meet at the usual field at the outskirts of the place. And he was late.

Along the path, she heard the sounds of a fight. She couldn't see anything as there were boulders keeping the fighters from view.

Feeling curious and having nothing better to do, she crept up and took a peek.

"Sora…" she breathed.

It was the player killer alright, but at the same time, there was something different about him. He wasn't his usual playful self. Instead, he was decimating an entire party – no, three parties – single-mindedly, slashing to kill and not simply to tease.

Everything about him was different except for his face. His character was red, bandaged and near emotionless. And he didn't go around saying "Boing!" either.

_This…this isn't Sora…_

Not a slash was wasted on playing as he would usually do. Nor did he prance around the place to taunt the enemy. This was destruction, pure and simple.

With a final blow, he destroyed the last character and went his way, not even bothering to look over the bodies he'd slain.

Mimiru fought the impulse to come out and whack him with her sword. This wasn't Sora. Sora never did things like this. And if it wasn't Sora, she wasn't sure of how the character would react. From the way he moved, she guessed that this character still had Sora's skills, maxed out at level 99.

She gripped her sword tighter and forced herself to stay put.

Finally the man disappeared. Mimiru couldn't just walk away. But who was she supposed to talk to? Bear?

She walked away from the field and waited at the root town itself.

Bear showed up. How long she waited Mimiru wasn't sure, because her mind was too full of thoughts.

"Hey Mimiru!" Bear called out.

"Oh, sorry." Mimiru said quickly. "AFK."

Bear raised his eyebrows.

Mimiru quickly asked, "What did you call me for?"

"Everything's over. I'm Tsukasa's legal guardian now."

"Cool. Hey, give me her phone number! Now that she's fine that means that we can go to Shimokitazawa!" Momentarily she forgot 'Sora'.

"Yeah, if you want." Bear said.

"So she's living with you now?"

"No, I'm letting her stay with Mariko."

Mimiru was slightly surprised to know that the two were still together.

"Just what is between them anyway?"

"En?" Bear suggested, referring to a karmic bond. _Actually, I think the two might as well be soulmates…_

"En, huh. Sometimes I wonder…"

"What?"

"If Mariko …likes Ann…the way she liked Tsukasa…"

Bear decided to be blunt. "I'd be surprised if what they felt didn't get stronger."

Mimiru blinked, not fully understanding. "You mean they might be going out?"

"You can be so dense sometimes, Mimiru."

"And you're letting them?"

"Hey, I didn't confirm that. I just said it was a possibility. But if the two of them do go out with each other…I can't see anything wrong with that."

"Poor Crim," was all Mimiru could say. The thought of Ann and Mariko wasn't unsettling, but she hadn't expected it. She thought of them more as friends. Or maybe Mariko was like an older sister to Ann. But the two of them together, in a romantic relationship? It was sort of funny to see them together, especially with the age difference.

"What's with that smirk on your face?"

"I was just thinking about the age difference. Just how old is Mariko, anyway?"

"Twenty-one, I think."

Mimiru blinked. "She's that old?"

"Or maybe just twenty. I'm not sure. And that's a mean thing to say."

Mimiru ignored the remark. "That makes their age difference…nearly ten years apart." Mimiru's eyes widened somewhat. 'Now that's freaky."

"Well, that's cyber love for you… I'd've thought that someone who's grown around the internet would know that."

"I know what it's called. It's just that I never thought those things actually worked out! Sue me for being dense already, Bear!" she hmphed, pouted and left Bear laughing loudly.

"Is that the only reason you called?"

"No," said Bear. "Do you remember Sora?"

The pout left her face and was replaced by a more somber expression. "Yeah…"

"What's with that look on your face?"

"Nothing."

"Mimiru…"

"I just thought I saw him a while before you showed up."

Bear looked interested. "And he was PK-ing someone?"

"It wasn't Sora. He wouldn't PK someone without asking for their member addresses first. And he only picked on stronger characters."

"But you saw him finishing off a group of players, didn't you?" _So the rumors are pretty accurate._

"…yeah…" _but it wasn't him…_

"It's not him alright."

"Then who's impersonating him?"

"I'm not sure just what's happening yet. Actually, I've been doing research on him and…I think that he's fallen into a coma."

Sora? One of the people she'd heard of in the news? In a coma, just like Tsukasa was?

"So…does that mean that he was…"

"Unlike Tsukasa, who was trapped here, the Sora we see is, I think, just a mass of data designed to destroy everything… using the character's data, which includes the skills the character has."

"Sora's player is in the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"What's his real name?"

"Misaki Ryo. He's just a ten year old kid, Mimiru. "

"That young? Well, that figures…he always was a little childish." She felt sad, without understanding why. Sora was a pain in the ass, but even he was nicer than BT… at least, to Mimiru.

"I'm planning to talk to Balmung and Orca about this."

"Like how? Those guys haven't been around lately…and regular players can't even communicate with any admin at all since the end of the Crimson Knights. The sys admin are still busy fixing things up after they disbanded. And besides… I don't think that Sora's the kind of character Balmung would like to help." _Even though the Knights were never admin doesn't mean that they were entirely without power. The players trusted them…_

" You've got a point there. But we have to try…I was thinking of using the message boards, but I thought that maybe it was best I not disclose the information yet to the public."

"How about talking to Subaru?"

"I'd rather not. She and Tsukasa are rather caught up right now, see?"

Mimiru laughed a little. Bear grinned and continued. "So I thought that the best way to get to talk to them was to contact Crim, who unfortunately hasn't shown up yet. I think that he might be away again."

"Another business trip?"

"Yep. And until then, I guess we'll have to wait."

Mimiru felt a flash of irritation, but put it away. "That's all you came to tell me?"

"Yeah, plus an invitation to clear out a dungeon."

Mimiru grinned. "That's better!"

Next chapter:

Some screens are black and white, others in red, green and blue

Two worlds converge. Computer screens blank out, one after another. A pale, distorted reflection, slightly flattened out due to the screen, remains.

Reflections.

A/N

Cultural Note on Mariko's and An's relationship:

In general Japanese society do not approve of homosexuality despite its fair popularity in mass media (known to most westerners as yaoi and yuri). It becomes more acceptable only if the homosexual agrees to foster a child; this is seen as a mature and responsible act. Not having a kid is associated with selfishness.

Another major issue is that of being a cripple. In Japan, that's a really sad thing to happen – since Japanese culture tends to be utilitarian. They measure people's worth on their usefulness to society.

That's all.

Till next time then.


	11. Reflection

Sorry for the VERY VERY LONG UPDATE.

I haven't touched this story for months…

Also, any help with regards to formatting in would be really appreciated. I want to make the text more readable, since uh it's barely readable and is a mess. Can anyone tell me how to uh fix the formatting so that my paragraphs come out as paragraphs? (Unless of course it's just my browser not working…)

Anyway, enjoy…

Chapter 11 – Reflection

Kadowa Mimiru

21.30(day 15)

Nothing was better than a good dungeon workout. It was a great way to just throw in all the tension she accumulated during the day: stupid classmates, irritating projects, the news that Sora was stuck in a coma…

Finally she stopped playing, logged off and reached out for the phone.

Several presses later she was talking.

"Hello?"

"Uh, Mariko, is that you?" Now she wasn't so sure what to say.

"Yes…Mimiru?"

"Yeah, glad you remembered! Uh, can I talk to Tsukasa…I mean, Ann, for a sec?"

"Sure."

Several seconds later, Ann was on the phone.

"Hey there Mimiru…" her voice was hesitant. This was the first time the two of them had ever talked outside 'the World'.

"Finally I get to hear your voice!"

Ann paused for a second, unsure of what to say. "Well…your voice is nice too, Mimiru…"

"Thanks. Hey, you remember our promise?"

Tsukasa thought for a second. "To meet in Shimokitazawa?"

"Yep! Are you free anytime soon?"

"It's you I should be asking! Don't you have school?" Ann felt herself relax. This was just like Mimiru.

"Uh…yeah…I guess…well…how about next Saturday?"

"Okay," Ann said. That wouldn't hurt. She didn't have any plans anyway, other than to get better and take it easy.

After a moment, Mimiru added, "Why don't you bring Mariko along?"

"Will that be okay with you?"

_Well, I sure hope I won't be a third wheel… _Mimiru kept the thought down, concentrating on the call.

"Of course it is, Ann… we're friends, right?"

"Uh-huh," the younger girl said, grinning.

After a few minutes of deciding where and when to meet, the two hung up.

Ann sauntered back to Mariko's work room. "Hey Mariko, how about we go to Shimokitazawa next Saturday? Mimiru's asking."

"You and Mimiru have a shopping spree?"

"Sort of. Except that I really haven't got the money…" Ann grinned.

"It sounds like fun…and it must be tiring to just be here…at least for you, anyway."

Ann placed a hand on Mariko's shoulder. _How can things be tiring with you around? _

"Actually…when I'm with you…is when things are most peaceful."

Mariko cast a sidelong glance and saw Ann staring at her, lips curved upward. Ann's playful side was still a slight surprise to Mariko, who was used to a quieter Tsukasa. Recently, Ann was showing more of herself…reminding her of the Tsukasa she knew during the last days in 'the World'. She hoped that Tsukasa was here to stay.

"Then we'll all go to Shimokitazawa. I wonder what Mimiru looks like in the real world."

Kadowa Mimiru

10.00 (day 20)

_Why oh why do I always arrive earlier? This just ends up irritating me!_

Kadowa Mimiru was furious with herself. She woke up early, excited to meet Ann, took a good bath, took the first train headed for the Shimokitazawa she saw, and now…was an hour early.

_"Who's she waiting for? Godot?" _

That memory irritated her even more. She didn't know why it just came to mind. Lately a lot of things had been irritating. First was Tsukasa's father. Then when he was put away, Sora ran into bad luck.

Funny… she never considered Sora a friend before. He may have been a backstabber… but at the very end, Mimiru felt that he wasn't so bad. What happened to him…wasn't fair… just as things weren't fair for Tsukasa.

And even though the real world wasn't fair, or even 'the World', it didn't mean that she was just going to sit down and let anything happen.

She tried to keep the subject out of her mind. There was nothing to be done about Sora's condition…at least, not until Ryo got a lead on it. And she didn't want to whine about the issue with her friends.

But she was tired of waiting. She wanted to talk to Subaru about it… but she wasn't so sure if Subaru was the type who got along with player killers, either.

What was she going to _do_?

She decided to stand up – walking around would do her good. This was the real world, after all, not some RPG where nearly all the items for sale were unchangeable. She peeked into a clothes shop and started looking for accessories.

Misono Mariko

10.00

Even after four years…

Even after four years, it was still hard. She had lightheartedly accepted the invitation to go to Shimokitazawa but when it came down to it…

Was she ready?

Ready to face the stares, the looks, the unspoken stigma? People staring at her, wheeled around, forever a burden to others.

She tried violently, unsuccessfully, to stem the thoughts bothering her so.

_It'll make her happy…_

But even that fact wasn't enough. Why wasn't it enough?

She sighed and rested her head against the back of her chair, closed her eyes and wondered just what it was she was doing. Everything felt so heavy all of a sudden, the air, her clothes, it all threatened to melt away, leaving not a trace of her behind. She wanted so badly to be able to stand up, wished she could feel just a tingle of energy course through her legs again.

Moments later she heard a soft knock on the door.

The sound brought her sharply back to reality. Time was ticking; she agreed to this.

_It shouldn't be so hard…_

Engrossed in her thoughts, she barely thought of opening the door. After several knocks, each more frantic than the last, the door finally burst open.

"Mariko? A-are you okay?"

Ann came up to her side quickly, wide brown eyes staring down at her in worry.

Mariko forced herself to meet those eyes, bending her face slightly. "Yeah, Ann-chan. Just a little…preoccupied."

"Then… shall we get going?"

"A-alright," Mariko said softly. To her surprise, Ann suddenly came closer to her. "Don't worry… I'm with you, okay? You're not alone, Mariko."

"I, I know I'm not, Ann."

Ann could feel Mariko's unease mixed with the older woman's reluctance to talk. She decided not to force the issue, just as Mariko didn't force things with her father. Instead she slowly wheeled out Mariko and went towards the door.

Mariko however stopped the chair once close to the door. She stared at the floor.

"Ann-chan… maybe it'd be better if you went on without me."

In an instant, Ann bent over, hands on Mariko's, trying to look into the older woman's eyes. Mariko looked away. "W-what's wrong, Mariko?"

"I – I'd just get in the way…"

Ann squeezed her hand, dug into her pocket, picked up her phone and dialed. Mariko barely heard her apologize. "Yeah, I can't go right now, something's come up… real sorry, Mimiru, hope you didn't do what you did in the World – you know I'm always late or not there at all… uh-huh, sorry again…"

There was a faint click. Ann brought Mariko back into her room.

"Mariko…"

"I-I'm so sorry Ann, it must be such a pain to-"

Next Chapter:

Screens flicker on and off, some colored, the others black and white, sometimes alternating between the two.

The moon floats in the darkness, as Pluto's Kiss falls on the world. A pool of dark liquid pools around a car suddenly flickering into color – a black car, blending into the night.

And a hand, wrenching itself out of the clutches of Death.

Moondust.


	12. Moondust

A/N: It's been a while, hasn't it... I never thought I'd find my files, but now my mind draws a blank on how to continue. Also, I worry about the validity of the information I use in this story. While so far it seems to hold, if the creators of .Hack retcon or release specific information (everything like their names and real ages, at which we can only guess) it'd spell the end of this story, or at least a major revision.

Please read and review; this chapter is not like most.

Chapter 12 - Moondust

_A single hand cannot clap. But it alone is enough to slap and strike a person down._

A pale young girl fell soundly to the floor, knocking over a chair. The man standing above her was not a giant, but lying on the floor, struggling to get up, she could only see him as a small ant would. She stared at him, knowing by instinct that a foot would come crushing her completely.

A foot did come crashing into her belly. She doubled over, coughed - her frail constitution made worse by the cold barely held back by the thinness of her clothes.

Bills and coins were scattered all over the floor. One hundred yen coins, five hundred yen, bills in larger dominations. Metal clanged against the hollow sound of wood, jarring everything. Uneven, raspy breathing came from a figure swathed in blue. A lone windowpane frosted with snow carried light from a lamp rising from the cold streets below, and shone upon the figure huddled like a ball of cloth and sinew. Thus were the colorless covered in twilight.

* * *

No one knows where emotions come from. Maybe they just hit all of a sudden, somewhere in the brain, a connection suddenly clicks. No one knows the reasons why they are the way they are. Some say evolution, survival, instinct. Maybe they're not any closer to the truth than any idiot who doesn't ask questions.

She fell in love. Who was to blame? Was the man a slick asshole, or was he doing what had to be done? Was she a fool, or was she just caught in the circumstances? There was no way of telling who was to blame. Maybe the blame couldn't rest on anybody.

* * *

The world was cold that night. It snowed on the eve of the twenty-fifth of December. She ran down the street, looking for a man who had gone. It wasn't for the money he'd taken, or the photos. It was for all the memories, memories of a man, memories of emotions that refused to let go, not without a fight. The memory of sunlight streaming down the windowpane, the memory of holding on to a lover when school arrived to take him away - losing those memories would be the same as walking into a winter eternal.

She ran and ran, and the cold of the world descended. A shrill, cold kiss fell upon the world, then, only searing pain, the smell of gas, and fire. The moon shook and let loose moondust on the world, covering it bright sprinkles which lasted into the darkness. That alone stayed as the darkness wore on.

* * *

He had not returned. Did he know she was in the hospital? Did he know she'd lost her legs? Did he know anything? She didn't know, and was forced to live with doubt, in a snowy winter, shackled to the ground, unable to stand up and walk out of the sea of snow.

So she had lived since, dabbling occasionally in the illusion of walking, following with her eyes those drops of moondust. With the same sureness she had of the man she had run after, she knew that it lead to an easy dawn. A gentle dawn.

So she waited for it to come.

Translation Note:

easy dawn - yasashii yoake. Ring a bell? It's the ending song.

A/N:

Twilight - you all get the reference to the show.  
Additional A/N: Mariko was actually quite young when she lost her legs (maybe junior high or slightly older), unless I'm again mistaken.

Next Chapter:

Meetings, eyes, Tokyo nights. Unwilling to return to their daylight lives, shadows linger in the dark, meeting in alleyways, pretending they're wanted. Two fellow shadows in the dark meet as they are, and return to their lives; how will they change?

Shatter.


	13. Unfinished

**Chapter 13 – Unfinished**

A/N: Been a while. Will finish this story soon.

**Kadowa Mimiru**

**20.00 (day 20)**

Night wound itself around Tokyo, falling upon Shimokitazawa as well. Bars opened, restaurants, shops. The usual troop of commuters found excuses to come home late. What was at home, anyway – bills, fights, rebellious kids, irritating siblings, work – nothing to look forward to. At least for the night they could pretend that someone wanted them, before going back to home in time for a small nap and work. That was the difference between night and day.

Mimiru found herself among the many wanderers, not wanting to go home, not knowing where to go. And she had no one.

No one at all. And thinking about Tsukasa always brought Mariko into her thoughts. The two of them together-

When did she realize that the two of them together in a sentence meant more than just friendship? And since when did she flinch at that thought?

It wasn't right. It wasn't fair to Tsukasa, or to Subaru.

But it wasn't fair to her either. She had met Tsukasa first.

But what was it she wanted from Tsukasa, anyway…? After spending the entire day in Shimokitazawa, she still didn't find what she wanted.

Shops were everywhere – something Shimokitazawa was famous for. The place had lit up as the darkness descended, a scene not unlike the nightlife in other equally popular places like Odaiba.

Mimiru, tired, found herself sitting on a bench, watching people pass by. Couples, the occasional high-school ko-gal, kids prepping in cram schools for college, that kind of crowd drifted in and out of the streets. Mimiru paid little interest to the older men; most of them were commuters coming home from work after a beer or stop at some ramen stall, although every now and then, at the corner of her eye, she saw a man walk with a girl much younger than he.

Enkou, she supposed.

She'd thought about doing that in the past when she ran out of money, but she wasn't really into dating older men just for the cash, much less sleeping with them.

Her eyes strayed away to the neon lights, to the restaurants. Nothing for her there either.

Sighing, she stood up and started walking towards the train station.

**Imonoyama Tadeo**

**20.00**

He was thankful for his business. If it weren't for his work, he'd have gone insane a long time ago. At the same time he was thankful for the World, for the world had been the other side of the see-saw, balancing it out. He knew that well enough.

His round trip, ending in the Philippines, had brought him back to Japan that afternoon. Although a little jet-lagged, his body had brought him out of his room and into a bar. Just another bar. And he didn't look any different from the salarymen playing around with high school girls, getting drunk and sloshed on the streets. Funny. It reminded him of his travels. In Singapore everything was fine and dandy – heck, they were as strict as hell there. Malasia though, and the Philippines (particularly Kuala Lumpur and Manila) – there were drunks in the slummier parts of those cities. People, he thought, don't differ too much. Except that people in Japan seemed more pointless somehow.

A part of him liked staying that way. Just invisible. And if he didn't feel that way, well, he could always be Crim.

Yeah, things were a lot better that way.

He poured himself another drink. Outside there was a struggle – some girl was trying to get away from some guy. He shrugged. He wondered if some tourist was somewhere in the crowd, shocked maybe. Or not. People are people.

He was fairly sure that some overzealous idiot would pull them away from each other. Eventually. He'd drink until then, he told himself.

Then he heard shouts. Another young girl had entered the scene. Tadeo, not hearing the argument, thought of several possibilities, amusing himself by playing them out in his mind. Was the man cheating on the second girl, or was the girl the overzealous idiot he'd been expecting? Or maybe an unpaid bitch? Was the overweight man a player, just lonely, just hopeless?

Quick as the thought, he felt the urge to throw up. Disgusted with the situation, and disgusted with himself, he stood up, left a sizeable amount of yen, and tried to wash away, in his mind, the smell of his breath, and the sight of the three fighting. Most of all he wanted to disappear, to sweep himself away, and go back to the World, where Crim had the power – or was it the guts? – to be an overzealous idiot.

**Shouji Ann**

**22.00**

The house was dark. She closed her eyes, curling up in bed next to Mariko, who, out of exhaustion, had slept early. Ann had insisted on it. Mariko had spilled out the story, then stayed mute and dazed for the rest of the day, as though her mind were once again inside a bare room, inside a house washed with blue.

Ann felt a wave of hopelessness wash over her, and inched closer to Mariko, wishing she could do more. She could feel tendrils of the woman's hair against her forehead, the slow breathing that reassured her. They were both still alive. There had to be something they could do, right? From somewhere in her mind Ann could hear the heavy, solid sound of metal clanking, the assurance of a lock. Inside the room, she could hear heavy, labored breathing –

She cut off the memory, drowned her mind in a swirl of images, remembering the time she was Tsukasa, unknowing and uncaring as to she truly was. If only they had stayed in that world, living there forever –

No. No, this wouldn't do. This wouldn't do. She tried to tell herself that again and again. Her hands searched for Mariko's, and her eyes stared at those hands for the longest time. This was reality. Mariko would never log out of this world. Ann had all the time in the world to be with her. Nothing would take that away. She told herself this again and again. Nothing would take Mariko away.

Nothing.

**Sakuma Ryo**

**Day 22**

He hadn't touched the subject of Ann moving out from Mariko's place, much less the idea of school. It wasn't because he expected a negative response - he was sure Ann would follow it, and was sure that Mariko would recognize the wisdom of it.

But he couldn't. Nor did he know how to fix the tangles in the web. He wanted a party for the two of them, but no one, except BT, had replied. Not even an excuse. And even he had to admit - he couldn't work up enough enthusiasm about the subject.

Why?

Because everything in the World was over. Mimiru was slowly disentangling herself from it. There was no great adventure to run back to, and without Tsukasa's plight to bind them together, in the end, there was nothing to look forward to. BT had no chance with Tadeo, the Crimson Knights were gone (and Ginkan along with them), and Mimiru had no Tsukasa, no mystery to investigate. Neither did he. And Sora... Sora's plight was a mystery, yes, but not one to be jumped to right away. Not yet.

It wasn't right. And since it was out of his hands, making a move would most likely be wasted. He had to wait.

He clenched his fists at the thought. In front of him, a blank page and cursor taunted him.

He couldn't write either.

_Sakura..._

**Next Chapter:**

A young woman walks around Tokyo swarmed by cardboard people. She passes by an older man. A bored barkeeper flips glasses around, waiting for the night to end, but he knows yesterday's sunlight will never come back. In another screen, a pair sleeps, trying to find the way out of memories.

They all step on the same road, and there aren't many more steps to take.

_Links._


	14. Links

Here we go…

* * *

Chapter 14 - Links

* * *

Imonoyama Tadeo

1.00 (day 24)

Tadeo walked down Ginza, having just gotten off the last train. He passed by a Dunkin Donuts, thought of a coffee, then walked on. He passed by a garbage can and tossed his cellphone in. It had been far too noisy those last few days.

Had he bothered to look, his call list would have included a certain Sakuma Ryo, among other names, such as Nakoshi Susumu and Furuya Usamaru. But he hadn't bothered since the last call from his boss, and that was - what, yesterday? The day before? He couldn't remember very well.

All he knew was that he was looking for the way to Mac Anu. Wasn't it on the damn server he was on? And where the fuck was he, anyway?

He finally crashed into a wall and slumped. This was Ginza. He wasn't that uncommon a sight. Slightly dazed, he looked around him: bars, complete with women wheedling men in with promises of promos and great times; drunks staggering home; couples off to motels; dark neighborhoods; bright neon signs. Smoke drifted around him, some from leaking pipes. No one looked at him.

He closed his eyes for a while, thoughts drifting, mind slurred.

He stayed there, next to trash cans, until –

"Hey, old man!"

_Dammit_, he thought, he wasn't a goddamn _oyaji_!

He tried to get up – a shoe crashed into his shoulder. A low ummph came, unbidden from his lips. He collapsed back into the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing here, eh old man?"

Fuck. Tadeo opened his eyes in time to see another shoe crash into his face.

Shit shit shit. He moaned. He instinctively raised his arms – partly in surrender, partly to protect himself.

"Hey, we can't have vagrants sleepin' round here, can we? Bad for business. You better pay up, _oyaji_!" To get the point across, the voice followed up with a stomp, heavy, on Tadeo's back.

Tadeo could feel bile threatening to make its way out. It was too late for him to regret all drinks he'd bought. Facedown, kneeling, crawling he tried to face his attackers. A pipe crashed on his back – and then he knew nothing.

* * *

Ryuji Jin

2.00

It was another boring day at work: or night, for that matter. He watched men come in with their girls, watched them distract themselves, paying a very handsome sum while they were at it, watched them go off into the night pretending to be something they weren't – pretending to be strong and handsome, strong enough and handsome enough for the pretty girls next to them, bought from who-knows-where. The point was, the girls were pretty and they were drunk enough to believe their lies. Nevermind that the prettiness would get licked off, or kissed off or faded in the course of the act. Nevermind that it was all Elizabeth Arden, all Gucci, all Shiseido, all just painted on, like a mask: only now mattered. And right now, those men thought themselves desirable, and the money given to the women only a formality. Tomorrow they would find themselves naked, alone, clothes on the floor, somewhere they barely remembered entering. Tomorrow they'd realize: their wives! Their children! The money! And they would lie down on the bed, heavily – all this in the morning, with no lies, no drinks to bring them back into the dreams of last night. All that was enough to make them wish for the night again, damn reality! And so they went to work, even in crumpled uniforms for some, for the money that paid for their dreams and made them forget.

Stupid. It was a stupid cycle, and Jin knew that. He knew it: he knew it from his own father, who came home with stains on his shirt, smelling of perfume. No need to explain to his wife, who was quiet and submissive. It was, after all, better than being beaten, and Jin admitted to his father's generosity. Still, it was pathetic, it drove his mother to sickness and to death, and up to that his father had been dreaming their money away, money that should have gone to healing _her_.

Then she died, and his father drifted away, until he too turned into ashes.

And so Jin spent his evening, working at that bar, wondering why he'd gotten into that particular line of work. He saw some of his father in every man that came in, arm around some woman. Sometimes it made him want to retch, and sometimes it made him want to beat some man up – especially the ones who treated their girls badly – maybe it was his way of keeping an eye on his father, something he'd never been able to do but _should _have done.

He wondered, too, how he'd managed to pass the interview. The Mama-san's eyebrows were raised all throughout, but said, sure, stay for the night. Jin lived close to Ginza, and wasn't interested in commuting somewhere far for a job, and he needed the money urgently, and the bar was the first thing he saw – what the heck, he had issues. He knew himself. Maybe he wanted to be part of the dream too – that dream where someone loved him, where he was strong.

_Great, as if behaving like a fool in the World wasn't enough_, he chided himself.

Grow up, he told himself. Grow up, get over it. He's dead. She's dead. You're alone.

He chided himself for being so childish – but then again, so many adults were childish too – maybe being a grown-up was just a question of hiding their childish selves. Hiding their problems inside. People called identity crisis a teenager's problem, but he knew better. What the hell were people doing, all over the internet, leveling up and beefing up and hitting on other people – _let's face it_, he thought, _we all want to be someone else. Someone stronger. Someone better. _

He hated himself for it. He remembered his misplaced nobility, the memory sour in his mind. He didn't want to even think about it. His foolishness. He was almost as bad as his father was. He'd failed his lady.

He heard crashing outside: a drunk? He heard voices, angry, hushed. Irritated, he went outside, only to find the local yakuza – no, they weren't, he realized, they were just gang kids – beating some drunk.

"Hey!" he growled. What the fuck did he say that for? Too late – the group was glaring at him. They glared at his uniform too.

"Just collecting our dues," one of them growled, hunched over the drunk's body, searching through pockets for a wallet. Finally they found a brown one, cheap. They took the cash and chucked the wallet into the nearest trash can.

Then they left. Inwardly Jin breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't tough enough for all of them – big, yeah, but one against six was too much for him. He walked over to the drunk.

What the hell was he going to do? Bring the man to the police?

He sighed, hesitated for a moment, then hefted the man up. He briefly saw his father's face in the man. Briefly. This one at least didn't have a girl.

* * *

Kadowa Mimiru

9.00

The call wasn't really urgent, but she refused to see him unless she got to skip school. It was a cheap thing to do, really, but she didn't want to see him.

Surprisingly Bear – no, Ryo – agreed. Crap. No choice but to follow through.

He picked her up at a tea shop close to her house, and brought her to another store, a quieter, more American coffee shop.

He let her order anything, not even flinching or upset or anything when she ordered the most expensive stuff. Finally apprehensive, she asked, "What's up? And… I can cancel my order, you know."

Ryo Sakuma laughed. "No, it's okay. I make enough for a family, and it's not like any of them ask for a lot." Mimiru caught the practiced tone of voice: it was a lie. One he desperately wanted her to believe.

Men. The things they do to save face.

She fell for it, graciously.

"So, what's this all about?"

"Any ideas for Subaru and Ann? They… turned you down, right?"

Mimiru tried to keep her face from souring. "Yeah, Ann did."

"I was thinking, maybe we could bring everyone together – "

Mimiru actually snorted. "I doubt it. Like you'll get the two of them out of each other's arms long enough for them to actually notice other people. Like you'll actually get Tadeo to come. Or BT."

She saw his old face fall, even more than it had, from all the stress, all the writing, all the court cases he'd been through. Part of her wanted to tell him to forget she'd said that, another part of her wanted to slam it in his face: don't bring the World out to this one. Stop it.

Ryo said, "At least we ought to keep in contact."

"Look, they're not interested, I'm not interested. This mess, it's over. Okay?"

* * *

Next chapter:

Shards fall. Stories are told. Mouths, opening and closing fill every screen. Mute. Everything is mute.

Voices.

* * *

Author's Notes:

I like putting characters of the same time period together. Susumu Nakoshi is a businessman from a manga called Homunculus. Usamaru Furuya is a mangaka (he did Jisatsu Circle / Suicide Club).

This chapter is kind of messy, so if there's any trouble, please feel free to comment.


	15. Voices

Chapter 15 – Voices

_Once upon a time..._

_ In a land far, far away..._

Pluto's Kiss hadn't fallen yet.

She had been living with _him. _Not for very long, of course. Nor was she planning to keep it up, or so she told herself. Only because he had begged, gone down on his knees, _Please, I'll take good care of you, Mariko..._

He promised, and did he make good on it. Mariko would give him that.

When did she start falling inward? When did she start cutting school, only to be with him? When did he start leaving work earlier and earlier? When did she start lying to her mother, _Oh, I'll be back soon, I promise, we're just trying it out._

When did the lie become_,_ "_I'm perfectly fine..."_?

Because in truth he had had too much of her, and she could never have too much of him.

They walked a lot. They drank a lot of tea in every tea shop they visited. She was never the wild type. Nor was he, although unlike her, he had had his share of smashes and forgotten girls. Or was he only telling himself that he'd forgotten them? She didn't know. It could be. It couldn't be. And she admits, she was intoxicated by not knowing all about him: mystery, she ate it.

Somewhere along the way he started coming home later and later: how many tea shops can you visit for the first time? How many dates before everything is a routine? How many kisses before you turn into the wife (married or not, just a formality), no different from the TV or the couch, waiting only to be turned on or sat on, another item in the house? Waiting for his touch to waken you into life?

And she never knew anything about him, other than his promise: _I'll take good care of you._ And he does, keeps her fed and warm and in a large apartment, how many ordinary girls get that much? Why does she want more? Why does she want only her perfume on his shirt? Why does she want only her touch on him?

And when he left, unable to handle one of his appliances coming to life so ferociously (unable to remember he had begged her to be his, that she was once a living, breathing person and not a piece of furniture) he had to leave on that night.

On that night.

She never heard from him again.

_ Is this the End?_

* * *

Ryuji Jin

He wasn't sure how to do it, how to handle this salaryman – or maybe even a business man, the coat looked tailored to fit the stranger's body perfectly. It was closing time already and Mama-san was considering throwing him out.

"Well if you want him so badly," Mama-san teased, "go ahead and bring him home. Although really, I didn't know you liked men. You could have said something, no need for him I could set you up."

"Oho, very funny," Jin said, sarcastically. Mama-san could really irk him sometimes. "I'll be sure to take you up on that offer sometime." He made sure his tone carried the right amount of sarcasm to make sure Mama-san didn't take him too seriously.

Mama-san let out a loud guffaw, clearly enjoying the mental image.

From the couch, Jin heard a loud groan. Finally, looks like that laugh did it.

"Oy, not too much," Jin said, when he saw a hand grasp the back of the couch. "Don't strain yourself."

"I'm fine," the man said. "Now where am I?"

Wow, a tone of authority. Definitely not a salaryman. Jin crossed his arms.

"Ginza, if your sloshed-out state doesn't help you remember." From the non-salaryman, Jin heard a weak chuckle.

"Wow, so I actually got off the train."

For a drunk, he was surprisingly lucid. And strong. He had managed to get up and face them. Crumpled clothes or no, bruised face or no, he stood up straight. "My thanks," he said, switching to the formal mode. "I'm Imonoyama Tadeo, which bar is this? Thank you very much for having me, I'm sure I can find my way back."

"This is the Featherette," Mama-san broke in. "And that'll be forty thousand yen for having you here," she said. Jin groaned. She never did stop trying to extort people for money. And how quickly, too.

"How very cheap for such a high class bar," this Tadeo replied, still keeping formalities. Jin was surprised at the man's manner. Had he really just woken up? "For such a stay, I'll add an extra twenty thousand – for the young man."

Jin stared. "Hey, don't get it wrong! W- w- we're not a host club!" Mama-san, however, had drowned out his splutter in a loud voice of "SOLD!"

This Tadeo laughed, his tiredness finally making him sit on the couch's backrest. "Is there any breakfast around here? And don't worry –" he turned to Jin – "I'll pick you up when I'm properly dressed. Dinner later tonight, okay? I'll bring the cash."

And he left, that quickly, with a chime of the front-door bell telling Jin and Mama-san that he was gone.

Jin's first move was to lunge for Mama-san's neck, a move she had anticipated and dodged.

"What was that for?"

"What, he doesn't seem like the bad type. Also, it looks like he was listening in on us. He had the decency to wake up just in time for us to throw him out.

"That's not what I'm talking about! I'm not a freak like that!"

"Ouch," the mama-san said. "What about me then, am I a boy or a girl?"

"Neither!"

"Maybe I should reconsider hiring a different hand..."

"Whatever! I don't get off on guys!"

"He never said anything about bringing you to a hotel! He just said dinner! Will you use your head and put your body to good use sometime? Besides, my gaydar says he isn't gay."

"Then in that case he must be some sort of psycho. Do you want me dead?"

"Well sixty thousand bucks is too cheap for such a loss of labor... nah, I'll just hire one of the zainichi next time. I'll get more customers that way too. And I'll ask him later for eighty, and tell him your corpse is his responsibility. Yeah, that'll do it."

"Wow," Jin growled. "Such love from my boss."

"Relax, I told you, I don't think he's dangerous. But sharp, that he is."

* * *

Imonoyama Tadeo

"You really don't recognize me," Tadeo said to Jin. He had dropped the formal mode. They were in a painfully expensive restaurant, and from the looks Jin kept darting in every corner but Tadeo's face, the boy was both impressed of the place and terrified of him. Well, he did have that effect on people, whether or not he faked homosexuality. So did the rest of the place. He had often raked up a bill enough to pay for a small apartment's lease for a month.

Jin stared at the menu. Was the boy even listening to him? Tadeo was about to repeat himself, loudly, when Jin broke in, "I don't know how to read any of this."

"Then I'll order for the both of us," Tadeo said. His hair was let down today, and he was wearing his most expensive suit. On the other hand, Jin was wearing a shirt, denim pants, and sneakers. The doorman however had allowed them in: it was Tadeo Imonoyama, after all.

After ordering a few French dishes – he had to keep from smirking from the puzzled look on Jin's face – he turned to face the younger man. His mind was busy trying to categorize Jin: he was certainly around college age, so between being a boy and being a man, Tadeo had yet to decide which one Jin was in.

"You really don't recognize me," Tadeo repeated.

Jin faced him then. "No, I don't." His face clearly said: _what would I have to do with a man like you from a place like this?_

They had only spoken on voice chat once anyway, and that was a long time ago.

"You're Ginkan of the Crimson Knights," Tadeo said, trying to lighten his voice the way he thought Crim would.

He waited for Jin's eyes to settle back into slits. "W-who are you?"

"You really can't guess?"

Jin stared at him. Tadeo shrugged, waited. Then their food came – and finally, he decided to break the ice. He wasn't about to miss the chance he had gotten by stumbling drunk into Ginza. Perhaps god really does take care of drunks. Fate certainly seemed kinder when he was out of it, anyway.

"I'm Crim, the Long Arm. Or don't you remember me? You know, spiky hair, red clothes, your former co-lieutenant along with Subaru, all that shit?"

* * *

They spent the night talking, after the first hour that Jin refused to believe him. Crim hadn't thought yet whether the luck he'd got when he heard Jin's voice and unmistakably recognized it as Ginkan's was the good sort or the bad sort, but now it was certainly the good sort. The two of them caught up on everything. Was it always this good when meeting a friend (wait, Jin was a friend now? Mm, Tadeo thought, maybe it's the drinks) from the World? Why hadn't he done this sooner? And why was Jin such a well-tempered young man? Ginkan seemed to have nothing in common with him.

"You're really lucky to have known our lady, you know?"

"Not really," Tadeo said, his voice going sour. Great, he really was Ginkan, at least in that he obsessed over Mariko too. Or what he thought was Mariko.

The similarities were starting to irritate him. "She's just like how she is in the World."

"Meaning to say she's not yours."

Ouch. Why was Jin, in addition to being well-tempered, actually _intelligent_? Maybe it was some sort of elaborate scam? The odds to meeting the real Ginkan were pretty low unless some_thing_ out there was pulling strings.

No, no, scratch that. It's the drinks thinking for him. Therefore the drinks were talking for Jin too. Idiots did seem less stupid when drunk.

"Well she isn't yours either."

Jin burst into laughter. "Well at least I'm not so sore about it."

Tadeo stopped breathing for a second. The boy was right. That warranted a kick at least. Or a tackle.

But he settled for dousing Jin with the last of his drink.

Next chapter:

Malls. Vending machines. Roads. Trains. Signs. Riverbanks. Bridges.

Outside.


	16. A Note From the Real World

**A Note From the Real World**

* * *

I started this fanfic when I was in highschool.

I finished college without touching a lot of it, though I would add this or that background piece on the characters.

Now I'm working, and I'm still getting the occasional touch from someone - it's insane that there are *people* reading this story, and I am touched immensely. It's 1 am where I am, I'm off to lecture in some hall, my life has had so many ups and downs - and yet this story is still here.

For those reasons I just want to say to those who've read this story: I'm still alive, and I still want to write it. The characters greet me with my earlier naivete and clipped style of writing; I hope the long years I have been away will bring something worthy to the table.

I simply posted this to say thank you to everyone who is still here reading this story. You guys are awesome.

As a bit of a spoiler, the story's actual genre will shift to a more slice-of-life tone.

Cheers to all of you, whoever you are in the Real World.


End file.
